Still around

Hi everyone, here is something that I wrote within the past week awhile contemplating my way out and was going to post it on another site but then got thinking about the Suicide Project. It is kind of lengthy.

Subject: Suicide thoughts; The Pros and Cons…according to me.

1/2/13

What circumstance(s) often lead to the act of suicide? Loss of a child? Financial problems? Marital problems? Dating problems? Depression and drug use among many other things. Old age coupled with loneliness and the every day pains that old age brings on. Is suicide truly an act of hurting oneself? In my opinion it depends a lot upon varying circumstances. For some, suicide is an acceptable way to end the problems and circumstance that make life seem unbearable. That would make the act one of relief of pain or discomfort, not hurting one self. Of course, in the opinion of nearly every doctor and police officer, there are no circumstances that warrant cashing-in…but they are wrong. Dead wrong…so to speak! Painful and non-curable disease is one good and acceptable reason with no moral ambiguities, in my humble opinion.

I used to participate in an on-line suicide public blog called “The Suicide Project.” It was a forum in which anyone could log on to the www site and explain why they wanted to commit suicide. Anyone else could also (join) log on and address the person that was contemplating ending it all and offer them their opinion and advice. It is a World Wide Web site containing thousands of posts that is open to everyone and anyone in every country that speak English. The great part about it was that it is totally private and not available to law enforcement snooping except for them reading the posts. They do not report you to the police. The webmaster does not want contact information and after membership approval and a short probation period feel free to post your heart out. There are rules and conditions to posting that are stated on the web site…read and abide by them. On this site you could say that you intended to kill yourself, and generally describe the method, (but do not give detailed instructions exactly how to do it,) otherwise the webmaster may remove you from the site. The best thing is, that you can spill your guts and not have anyone knocking on your door; a thing that is not possible if you speak frankly face to face to a “professional” who are require by law to turn you in. Sometimes just being able to talk to someone else without being wrestled to the ground is most therapeutic and could change the persons’ mind without being locked up in a psych ward. It is safe! Of course, there are some attention wanting fakers on the site claiming to want to commit suicide just as there are other people that are apparent Jesus “control freaks” wanting to mend you with God or Jesus. People want reality when they are considering the final exit, not prayers or phony faith. When most people are to the point of seriously considering killing themselves, the last thing they are considering is a possible trip to a Biblical Hellfire and damnation. If they want religion they can go to church…but even clergy are require to report you. Yes, I am not a Believer and killing myself is not a matter of morals or an offense against some God! I imagine that some people, at the final moment may give some thought to whether or not there is a God; this is to be expected. But then, there are some that do find comfort in the religious aspects of prayer, God and suicide prevention. To them I say, if it floats your boat…go for it… Anything to prevent needless or preventable deaths. Just don’t expect me to swallow your religious dogma.

One thing that really bothered me about the Suicide Project site was the young age of some of the posters. The youngest one I saw was ten years old that was being bullied at school, but did not think that he could talk to his parents. That is most sad! He could kill himself but not talk to his parents!!! Another thing that upset me was the sometimes violent way some people wanted to exit. To these people I always tried to suggest better, less violent ways, less painful…if they were really intent upon doing it. There are also those that are angry with someone else and they believe that they will punish the other person by killing themselves. “Yea, I will show them by killing myself.” “They will be sorry now.” In most instances if the other person is angry at them, they will not be upset or sorry, but rather consider the dead person as a fool, a jerk for doing it. Most revenge or sympathy suicides fail, since the person really does not want to die but rather to make a statement and will choose a way that is not absolutely effective. Cutting the wrists or swallowing a bunch of pills (like half a bottle of Aspirin) only results in getting their stomach pumped or their wrists bandaged. That is pathetic. Either do it right or don’t do it at all. Punishment or sympathy suicide is for jerks.

Purchase a good book on committing suicide (the Final Exit), read it all, and follow the instructions…if you are truly serious. One thing you will discover is the unexpected consequences of unsuccessful attempts on your life. What you think is a sure fire method, may have a low rate of success and often results in you being worse off and often in great physical pain. Do it right or don’t do it at all…preferably not at all. Reading a good book on suicide and noting all the things that can go wrong, may be very therapeutic for you. Give it a lot of thought to and never attempt suicide on the spur of the moment. You have your whole life to do it…whenever you want. There is no rush!! Make careful plans, take your time examining every aspect. Who knows, in the process of planning your demise, you may find good reasons to not do it or may consider postponing it for a while longer…or the reason you are doing it could change or go away. Life is so damn unpredictable and can take a different direction at a moment’s notice. Of course, with all this examination, it could also strengthen your resolve to go ahead with your plans.

The excuse that you hear the most from “professionals” is that they are “afraid that you may hurt (injure) yourself or others.” In some jurisdictions it is against the law to attempt or commit suicide but what is more to the point, is that it mandates “professionals” under penalty of law, report the intended actions to the appropriate authorities. In reality, if you unsuccessfully attempt it, what are they going to do to you? Arrest you? Give you the death penalty or jail you for attempted murder? Ha ha ha!!! You will however spend some time in a mental ward. Of course, if paramedics or other rescue personnel are called to “save” you, you could be sued by them for tens of thousands of dollars to cover their expenses for an emergency that you intentionally created. Some health insurance companies will not cover you for attempted suicide. There is also the danger (as a professional) of being sued by family of the deceased and holding the person that did not report the threat, to the authorities. I suspect that most anti-suicide laws, are really an anti-littering laws. I believe, that is due to the fact, people that commit suicide do it in an irresponsible manner, not caring about other “innocent” bystanders and possibly injuring them or causing them unnecessary mental anguish when they find the dead body or by seeing them die.People do not want to clean up your mess and be stuck with a ton of paperwork.

This may sound strange, but if you are firmly convinced that there is no other way out, try to be considerate of others in your time, place and method of suicide. One other prime consideration, is that you compose a very long suicide note explaining your life and why you are doing it. It is very very therapeutic. Not nearly enough people take the time to write a good suicide note. Write the note (or have a diary), it may even help others in the future or help Psychiatrists diagnose others that are seeking help.

Even if it is true, try to stay away from assigning blame to someone else in order to punish them. Besides, you will not be around to see if they suffer from your act or admonition. That is most unsatisfying and may give you pause.

It should be noted that any Murder/Suicide like we see in the news of late is totally another thing; usually the byproduct of angry, unstable people that do not want to face the consequences of their murderous act. These low-life’s are usually invisible during their life so they want to go out in a blaze of Glory and get their name in the paper, become “famous” and escape punishment. To these people I say, try reversing the order of things and commit a Suicide/Murder. That would definitely save many innocent lives.

Depending upon the age and circumstances of the person that is intending to kill themselves; suicide can be a viable and excusable relief for people that cannot see a way out of their troubles by other means. Please, no phony moral outrage posts at this point.

Just as a side thought, these are my personal rules against committing suicide:

#1 No one before their 40th birthday unless they have a fatal, extremely painful condition or illness, or the loss of one or more limbs.
#2 No one between 30 and 60 without condition #1-and dependent children under 25 years old-and have talked to a councilor at least 10 times.
#3 No one younger than 65 that has a living spouse or dependents under the age of 21.
#4 No one Younger than 30 without a major non-surgery-correctable deformity due to an accident or war injury, plus, all of the above rules.
#5 No one under the age of 21 for any reason whatsoever.

These are my rules permitting suicide at the subject’s discretion. (Just me playing God)

#1F Anyone over the age of 70 without a living spouse. (No one has the right, including family to contest the decision to end their own life.)
#2F Anyone over 40 with no dependents and has completed at least 20 hours of psychiatric counseling PLUS rule #1F, PLUS is an organ donor.
#3F Anyone 80 or over for any reason whatsoever. (Family, friends and debtors may not contest the decision for any reason.)
#4F All suicides must be non-violent with no body or head trauma and in no way capable of injuring innocent bystanders. No guns!!!! Period!!!
#5F All suicides where possible, should be committed in a hospital Doctor’s parking lot in your car (my own choice) and the person has written a suicide note and written a Will. Donating your body to a medical school is a great option. See a lawyer, there are special legal forms for doing that. Wear a TYVIK work coverall suit if possible. It will minimize the clean-up if your body is not discovered for a while.
#6F The suicidee should write D.N.R. in Magic Marker on their forearms and write a note explaining method of suicide for hospital records. Have positive ID on you plus your social security card.
#7F All the above conditions for suicide makes it nice that funeral, burial, cremation and remains-disposal be paid for in advance by you. Do not stick your family with these expenses.
#8F Absolutely no financial profit will be permitted for any survivor relatives or doctor. All life insurance policies will become null and void.

It would be nice if the law permitted “assisted suicide” in a hospital environment where organs could be harvested for transplant and doctors would be exempted from any possible law suits, provided that the person that wishes to be assisted has signed a notarized statement in the presence of a lawyer, stating that they wish to die and the doctor will not be held responsible for the persons’ death. Doctors may refuse to provide assisted suicide services. Suicide assisted by properly trained certified medical practitioners would be another alternative for doctors that have moral objections to assisted suicide. ((Yes, I realize the Church would fight this tooth and nail.) (Too bad!)) Suicide practitioners must attend a nursing college for at least two years and pass a state exam to be a nurse. In addition, nurses must complete at least 40 hours psychiatric counseling before being certified as an assisted-suicide Practitioner. The practitioner may only set up the equipment necessary for the person wishing to end it all. The person wishing to end it must initiate the final action by pushing a button or pulling a lever themselves.. The maximum fee that can be charged for setting up the process, equipment and possible chemicals or gasses will be $100. I think that is a fair price. No point in letting someone get rich for someone else’s choice to die. Surgeons performing organ transplants may charge their regular fee, as may the hospital where the transplants take place. It is up to the insurance companies to decide whether or not to pay for the transplant costs.

Another good bit of advice is that you see a psychiatrist for at least half a dozen times before making up your mind and committing the act. If you cannot afford some counseling, f*ck it, but spill your guts on the Suicide Project web site. Never tell a professional that you intend to definitely end your life and never admit that you have planned or decided upon a particular method or time and date. They will commit you to a psych ward for 72 hours…immediately!!! (You will have no choice in being committed as it is the law and you can be put in restraints by the police.)

If you plan on killing or hurting another person before you commit suicide, always tell your psychiatrist or councilor the reason why you want to hurt or kill another person(s). This is vital information you must provide and must be done…without exemption or exception!!!

If you are really serious about ending it all and do not want to be physically restrained and committed to a psyche ward, always be evasive about the method of killing yourself and always tell them that you are only considering suicide at this time.
Join the “Suicide Project” blog, spill your guts and ask for suggestions and advice. Wait at least a week for other people’s comments. Exchange dialog with others on this site. You will be surprised that you are not alone and others really understand what you are going through. There maybe others that are going through exactly what you are, and understand completely. It could greatly pick up your spirits. Just knowing others understand your pain or torment is fantastic. Sometimes that is all you need.

If you know someone else that may be considering suicide, insist that they join the Suicide Project web site, explain how it works and insist that they post at least one time. Even in your time of pain, help someone else if you can.

As stupid as it may sound, never commit suicide when you are crying-in-your-beer and saying “Why me.” If you are absolutely miserable at the time and wish to end your suffering, do you really want the last thing you ever do, to be shrouded with great unhappiness or physical pain? I know, you think I am nuts!! Maybe I am. The day before, or the same day, do something that makes you happy and take your mind off your problems; go to the movies, go to a good restaurant and eat your favorite food, anything that will put a grin on your face before you go. Die with a smile on your face; after all, you will be escaping your suffering so it should be a happy time for you and the end of your suffering. Put on a “Depends diaper” because you will very lightly crap your pants when you die, especially if you pig out the same day as you off yourself. Be considerate so others do not have to clean up your shit. Live a little…before you die a lot. My final act would be to eat two, two pound lobsters with a ton of butter and then have Tiramisu for dessert. Oh, yum yum. What a way to go. Ten months ago I did the first thing and went to a national seafood chain and ordered one, one and a half pound lobster and a pound of crab legs. They got cold before I could eat half of the meal; that bummed me out so I did not kill myself at that time. Next time, I will not order the second item until I finish the first. I will also also go to a funny movie or comedy club before eating my final meal. Planning your demise is very important. I want to die with a smile on my face. The method I have chosen is effective but not painful or traumatic in any way. No guns, no pills, no poisons, no needles, no sharp objects and nothing that will leave a single mark on my body. No one else will be in jeopardy. I want the doctors and nurses to comment on my great looking body. (Actually, I lie. I am way overweight, but it is nice to dream.)

So, give it some thought before you off yourself, you may reconsider, or maybe not.

You may have noted some sarcasm and tongue-inhyperbolemments intermingled in this post. I like a little hyperbole and sarcasm in my posts. It is up to you to figure out what is what. Hahaha.

Dead Right.
1/12/2013
11:05 am.

Hey Dawg, glad to see you are also around. I was racking my alleged brain for your screen name, because th old grey matter is turning shit brown and seems to be fading fast.. I have posted a few long essays during the past few days since I have a lot on my mind. I always injoyed exchanging barbs with you.

Oh well…TTFN

Dead Right