tried to summarize this up, but i honeslt need so much help

I’m only 17. I am going through shit right now. Exactly a year from today I was on this site. A year ago i felt like killing myself so badly that it had never got to me like that.
I will try to make this short and summarize everything.
My life began taking its downhill when i was in 6th grade. My parents got divorced and it affected me. I hated my dad. I never hung out with him unless my mom made me.
My dad always called me a hoe since I was in 7th grade. He never felt proud of me really. I can hardly remember anything he was proud of.
I started ruining my reputation while i was in 8th and 9th grade. It was horrible, people hated me at school. People who i thought were friends wanted to fight me. People i didnt even know hated my guts. it sucked. In everyones eyes the only thing i ever was was a hoe. nothing more nothing less.
i realized i had fucked up. i didn’t try to run from it. matter of fact i tried to make things better. not to prove it to people but to also make myself happy and comfortable.
so in 10th grade i began homeschooling. i deleted my facebook and i stopped texting people who were nothing important to me.
then my boyfriend i dated on and off for about two years broke up with me. i was sad and blah blah i felt alone.
i only had one friend and that was it. all i did was do my school work and then go to work. i never really had time to go out because my mom always put me to take care of my brothers. it didnt bug me but she started taking advantage of it. she never let me go out. she didn’t care if i had a social life, anything. i felt like a mom literally. i just was doing nothing with my life really.
well anyways, soon after i met another guy one day online. we started talking and i thought that i really liked him although i didnt even know him. he lived in SC and i lived in GA. he didnt know what i was going through bc i didnt want to come off as crazy. but i was giving this a chance and so i got all happy and dropped the whole suicide thing. i had no worries.
i met him a month after knowing him. everything went well. we started talking more and seeing each other more. i didn’t even have a license but i would still take my moms car to go see him 4 hours away.
anyways i chose him over my family and i ended up getting kicked out because it was a decision to basically be with him. my mom told me she was deeply embaressed of what i had done. she kicked me out and told me that i was not to step foot inside the house or see my baby brothers.
but it bugged me bc when my parents got a divorce my mom let my dad see the kids whenever. he was never there for them. he hated taking care of them. he would alwways say they were annoying.
i was bassically their dad after my dad left. so it hurt that after helping them grow up i was there for them more than my dad was. i would take them out, get them ice cream, the park.
all my dad did was take the kids back to his wifes house and watch movies all day. like seriously?
so after getting kicked out i was not part of the family.
my parents found out my boyfriend was 25 and had 3 kids and was divorced. ( i never told them any of that. )
so my dad told me that he was going to call the cops on him. but turns out my dad didnt bc he didnt want the guy to go through anything like that since he needed to be there for his kids.
anyways, then my dad wanted to talk to me. it ended up horrible. he ended up saying that i was an embaressment and that i was serioously fucked up in the head. that i was a hoe and all i know is to fuck guys here and there. it hurt, i was crying so hard i ran out the restraunt. he followed but i got in the car and left.
then two days later he wanted to talk again, but the only reason we had been meeting up in the first place was because he had my alien card that i needed. so second time we talked he ended up doing the exact same. but he told me that if i left with my boyfriend then he would send me to boot camp and discipline me in many ways and make my life a living hell. he threatened me but at the end he said “it’s not a threat, im just saying.”
like seriously?
anyways. so i stayed in GA and continued working and living with a friend.
my mom wanted me to move back in but my room is being rented out. so i would technically live on the couch.
i stayed with my mom for about a couple days bc she missed me at one point but man all they did was make me feel uncomfortable. the place i slept, where i had to keep my clothes. and then how i had to babysit all day. and they made me do chores when i wasnt even living there.
it didnt feel like home no more. i wasnt comfortable so i left.
soon after for new years they put me to work without asking which they always do. but they knew i had plans to go with my bf. so i just quit that night and said i wasnt going to be back to work again.
then i left with my bf and ive been living with him and its been great.
so i thought.
he is always acting like the women of the relationship. he always brings up marriage and kids. i honestly NEVER have brought it up. this week he’s getting us a car , (he has a bike right now and he crashed his car a month ago.)
he is helping me get my social back ( i lost it last month.)
and he is helping me live most importantly.
and last night i went through his phone and he has been telling girls he is single. and he is talking to this one girl that he hasnt seen in 5 years, telling her how he regrets hurting her and that shes the most amazing girl he’s ever met and that she is the one and only for him.
it hurt so bad to read all that.
honestly right now i am at the edge. not to mention that i have no home. i am miles away from home. i dont know ANYONE up here. i have not one single ‘best’ friend. all i have are people i talk to every now and then.
all i had was my boyfriend but obviously now it’s just slipping.
i ruiend my life for him to repay my like this.
i wouldn’t kill myself for him. i would kill myself for being such a fuck up and ruining my life. now i have no where to go, nothing at all. im too young for this it hurts. i feel like i can’t take it anymore. i want out.
i have tattoos and one of them says “never a failure always a lesson.”
it helps me alot when i feel sad .
but right now WOW all i can feel is fucked up. i feel like i have no where to go. i feel like im about to become oone of those hobos if he kicks me out. ugh, idk