This past month has been so many things; horrendous, miserable, cloudy with a chance of shit, amazing and terrible at the same time.
IÂ attemptedÂ to make amends with my mother…she at the firstÂ opportunityÂ sent me home said goodbye and drove off.
I tried to help a child in need but was chased away by an overprotective foster parent.
I made an effort to fit in and went to a part, somebody slipped something into my non-alcoholic drink and I ended upÂ vomitingÂ all over the front lawn
I found a boy…A boy who seemed to like me for me scars and all. IÂ rememberÂ the first night we shared together, he took me to a cabin, alone laying on the floor with a fire roaring in the grate. we are sharing secrets, I decide to tell him my biggest secret and instead of being disgusted he politely ask to see my scars. he looks at them for a moment, and then he starts kissing them starting at my wrist working his way up to my neck, He whispers in my ear, “They are beautiful.” Things heat up and before I know what is happening I am underneath him clothes discarded haphazardly around the room in our attempts to get closer together,,,We go home the next day and he leaves.
He didnt Â call back…He left me… and then a week later he says he is sorryÂ apologizesÂ begs to come back and I let him I foolishly let him in because he is the only good thing that has happened to me in weeks. He has already caused me more tears than he is worth and my friends say I can do better but I dont think I can I dont think i could do better because I am ugly and fat and stupid and mean…
I dont think I can handle another month like this…