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First give it a try…

by OddOneOut

I’m not trying to be a dick or anything, but it’s just a moment’s revelation that is slowly turning my life around right now and I thought it would be nice to share and get the ideas of other people.We, the ones on this site, usually have no meaning in life, think ourselves a failure, have had (to many different levels) experienced traumatic events or had our lives ruined by someone or thing, and are now seemingly left without many options. Our lives cannot, and will not get better. It will always be like this.
But, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY TRIED TO FIX THINGS? Of course, many of you will say (and be correct in saying) that you have done as much as possible to make life better by sacrificing many things in your lives. And I agree with this completely for those who really deserve to say that.
However, there are an equally many number of people on this site who probably are simply…should I say, whining about things that aren’t going well in life simply because they themselves haven’t done anything (much) about it. Think about it. Can you actually say that you’ve done everything possible to fix something in your life?
I realized that I myself was simply whining about having this girl that I liked who doesn’t seem to like me back. I kept asking myself “Why?”. Then suddenly, it hit me. I wasn’t talking to her, I wasn’t spending time with her, I was practically AVOIDING her. Of course nothing’s going to happen, you’re not doing anything!! As soon as I realized this, I also realized how many other things in life were going wrong or not happening simply because all I was doing was complaining and being depressed about them. Sure, some things are quite valid, but there were things that I could have done to improve my life – things that I didn’t do.

So, all I’m saying here is that maybe we should actually work to make something happen, maybe a little harder than you already have, before falling to the ground screaming and crying, going on about how things just can’t be done.
I know that for many people, they HAVE done everything they can and that life is just too bad for them…But to the others, the one who just got the blues and felt no reason to life…Maybe we should give it another try, put in some more effort and see how things come out.


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bluemonday 2/15/2013 - 7:40 am

You’re absolutely right. Unfortunately you might get some backlash from people because people sometimes react violently when they have it pointed out to them that some of their problems are their own responsibility. You are right that most of us probably have dozens of options that we could try to fix our problems, and either our depression makes us think those options don’t exist, or we know those options are there but we don’t have the energy or motivation to try them. But yes life will never get better if we just sit around blogging about our pain and not actually trying to do anything about it. Just like the example you gave with that girl. Life is out there waiting for us. Nothing magical is going to come along while we sit here at our keyboards.

Even the people who WILL try to come along and say that they’ve tried everything, this still probably applies to them. Nobody has truly tried everything. We just use that as an excuse when we’ve tried two or three things and are too tired to try any more.

No body or no thing can really make us feel worse than we allow. Many of us do just need to be brave enough to take responsibility again and stop waiting for something to come along and do the work for us.

Letmesleep 2/15/2013 - 7:56 am

I’m not a failure, I’m not unlovable, and I haven’t been abused. I’m simply an existential nihilist who sees no difference between dying now and at 80. Mortality invalidates everything. I’m not interested in “getting better” because there’s nothing wrong with how I see life. It’s realistic.

I do happen to have BDP and 1 in 10 of those afflicted with it commit suicide, but quite frankly my philosophy on life is independent of my disorder. I tried a lot of things when I was younger, but I haven’t tried everything. Quite frankly it doesn’t matter to me. I’m not looking for another shot at life, I’m looking for a firearm. It’s better to die when you have nothing than when you have everything to lose.

hopefilled 6/8/2014 - 1:50 pm

Let me sleep. I saw your post saying you would pay $50k for a gun.. I say that’s a deal. Tell me your email or how to contact you.

yetanotherguy 2/15/2013 - 8:52 am

Fixing things costs a lot of effort and energy and it’s always to the risk of failing and getting another kick in your face. It certainly is true that doing nothing does change nothing. I don’t know how it’s for the others here, but to me I am really weary after all these years and satisfied for every not-totally-shit-day. So if I am going to jeopardize even that little I currently have I needed to be ready to end it all eventually if things go from worse to worst and frankly, I am not ready for that yet.

Dave_N 2/15/2013 - 10:17 am

Gun suicides are very traumatic man. Please reconsider this. Whoever finds your body would be very traumatized. Plus, there is always a chance that you could survive the blast and end up a vegetable.

uselessme 2/15/2013 - 10:19 am

60 years of drooling and crapping in your pants. that would be an awful existance

blahh 2/15/2013 - 10:27 am

maybe im just like you Letmesleep, my suicide tendencies have nothing to do with whether im loveable or not, a failure or abused. yes i may have been abused but whatever is making me do it is not part of my past is just the way you see it: dying now or at 80 is exactly the same except that now im totally conscient of it and have nothing to lose. im not interested in getting better either.
if that makes sense to you… i have done many things in my lifetime, i cant see what else would make everything different now and yes better now than when theres reasons to stay!

blahh 2/15/2013 - 10:30 am

uselessme all that and being a burden on others too… not being able to take your own life because your mind isnt totally there so you dont know anything else anymore! great! cant see that happening to me…

Erick 2/15/2013 - 11:42 am

I wish there was something I could do but the fact is there are no solutions to my problems.

Killing myself isn’t really a solution either but it does bring an end to my suffering. My family understands my situation so while I’m sure they will be hurt by my passing they will also be able to accept it.

Dawg 2/15/2013 - 12:32 pm

You are absolutely correct … one reason people refuse to even try is they’ve already played out the negative conclusion in their minds – another reason is they focus on the grand overall goal and they refuse to find value in the seemingly insignificant first step – except you can never ever achieve the overall goal WITHOUT that first step – people become consumed with what they cannot do and never focus one what they CAN do

with no risk comes no reward … too often they simply say “why try if i will only fail?” because the fact is – you HAVE failed if you don’t even try! i used to think all those old geezer sayings were silly until one day i actually sat and analysed them – and discovered there is a reason and value for those time tested (yet irritating) old sayings and anecdotes – they’re TRUE – that’s why they’ve been passed on for generations

the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – stop focusing on the destination and how long it takes to get there and all the trials and tribulations you “might” encounter along the way … just take … that … one … step … one at a time, easy does it, slow and steady winds the race … just one step … and don’t be concerned with the next one until you’re done with this one

and where you’re going has nothing to do with where you’ve been – any time and energy spent wallowing in the misery of the past is time and energy not spent on getting to the future … stop carrying you past around like an anchor – it’s heavy and useless and it weighs you down – let it go – there is NO amount of thinking, pondering, replaying, rehashing of the past that will change it … it’s done … learn the lesson it teaches and move forward because no matter how much you want to stay in the past, the ONLY way is forward … and like it or not, you ARE moving forward, even now, right this minute and there is NOTHING you can do about it … it’s fact, it is … so move forward as efficiently as possible. our own mind is often our biggest roadblock to progress – retrain your brain to release the past, the baggage, the hurt … forgive

forward march dawg

goneandback 2/15/2013 - 1:50 pm

I think suicide can go two ways. First there are those who are going to do it because they really are being whinny and I would say spoiled. Many don’t stop and think about how others are fighting or at times dying to be in a simmilar position where they are but yet they keep complaining. Others are actually happy and content but are ready to experience the unknowns of death. I would say that if you are really going to leave in peace and have expressed your happiness to your loved ones you should go ahead. But doing it out of anger or failure to try and fix things is selfish. You never actually know how much pain you are causing onto others, even if you think nobody is going to care, I assure you there is no matter who you are. We mourn humans and the lost of a person due to stupid decisions. If you find no meaning in your life than give it some. There are plenty of things needing to be done on this earth and we need plenty of help. We have starving children, gender inequalities, corruption, degrading environment, and plenty of other things you can help out with.

LauraLove 2/15/2013 - 2:05 pm

quite agree…..its a step, the choices…..keep walking, keep going…

letmesleep……I dont think you really want out…..and firearms are far from certain….tricky to obtain (can be done) but far from simple…and far from guaranteed..

I think my most of us, we are suicidists….ideators, thinkers…..but….if ever offered a guranteed final exit….would choke and chicken you…

it might hurt, what if…blah blah…..so why we do it ?….is an obsession ? it is a cry for help, its just one big pity party…?….wish i knew….

what I do is this….after years in this mental illness game, and sites such as this and many others…its like an obsession, an endless quest…but…..if offered the “shot”…most would not take it…

im the same…..Spent years trying to find my exit…..finally have it, proven, tested, no doubts…gone in 60 seconds…yet…here I am……???????????????????/

Letmesleep 2/16/2013 - 2:03 am

@Dave_N: I’m aware firearm deaths are incredibly messy. If there was a less violent way to do it, I would most certainly take it. I have nothing but sympathy for whoever finds me, but the fact remains it’s society as a whole that makes guns remain the best option.

People look unfavorably on suicide, so the government makes it as hard as possible to accomplish. They took ******** off the market because it was backed more or less by the will of the people. As long as the idiom “suicide is never the answer” is thrown around, humans will never earn the right to die, at least not in America.

Guns became the most used method because people who want to die don’t have anything better to use. It’s wrong, and it has to change. People should be able to die peacefully and with dignity.

@LauraLove: You don’t know me well enough to make judgement calls on my level of determination. In fact, you don’t know anything about me at all.

You know who else didn’t think I wanted to die? My loved ones. They locked me up in the most degrading, hopeless places imaginable over and over until they finally realized I wasn’t ever going to give up. All they did was tear holes in our relationships, nurture a growing rage inside me, and stealing what’s left of my dignity.

Suicide for me is not just about the removal of suffering. It’s an act of defiance. It’s a revolt against this incomplete existence we all share and a total rejection of the human condition. I’m not going to be told what’s supposed to be right because it’s not up to anyone else to determine how I should see life.

I’m not going to stay on society’s leash forever being told what I’m allowed to do and what I’m allowed to think. I want to be FREE, and death is the ultimate freedom. Some people look at death as tragic and sad; to me it represents hope.

I don’t want any part of this world; I can think of about 20 different reasons to die and maybe 1 to live. Even if I chose to live I would just die later, and probably due to something a lot more slow and painful than a gunshot wound. We’re all dying as we speak, so I don’t agree that somehow any of this really matters.

However, if you’re so convinced I have no will to die, then that’s only good news for me. You can sell me what I want without feeling guilty. I’d pay you $50,000 in cash for a firearm, and I can come to you whenever (assuming you’re in the US).

changeling 2/16/2013 - 3:14 am

I think that I feel the same as letmesleep. The 1 reason that I’d have to live is, to be a “good example.” When I read about suicides I actually look up to folks who have killed themselves; they achieved what I’d like (for myself) the most.

When I think of death I think of nonexistence. This means no more TV, no chance of miracles happening for me. But it also means no more horrific losses. Death means I’d not live knowing people are starving or tip toeing through the minefield life has become always with some obnoxious band blasting in our faces.

Death symbolizes eternal security and safety to me. And I’m in awe of others that have apparently seen this for themselves as well.

LauraLove 2/16/2013 - 4:47 am

letmesleep….what you seem to be missing….

is that I am trying…really really hard to help you…!!…

You know there is not much that can be posted here…however, if you email me your wishes…..we can talk more and you need realize that of the many on here, who talk and don’t walk or neither have the access or willing….I do…

I cannot post here all things….but if you are as you say….I am more than willing and able to help you…….

Letmesleep 2/16/2013 - 5:08 am

Alright Laura, I’m interested. I sent you my real email from the one that’s linked here. I’d love to do business.

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