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I can’t help it

by Love to Longboard

I have been trying to get better and good stuff has even been happening to me but I just can’t help it. I think about my suicide constantly. How and when it will happen, the after effects, who will notice. I just think I was meant to commit suicide.

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Dave_N 2/11/2013 - 10:44 pm

You have to start thinking about the possibility of living a long life. Your world right now is consumed with the thoughts of suicide. Suicide is one option, but it’s not the only option.

Love to Longboard 2/11/2013 - 10:48 pm

I know but even when every thing seems to be going my way I just want to die. Sometimes I wish everyone knew but that would go horribly wrong since all but two people in my life right now even know that I am depressed.

theworthless1 2/11/2013 - 10:58 pm

Trust me, I am right on par with you. The only difference is my whole world had come crumbling to pieces on me and nothing has been going good for a while. It’s one big let down or disappointment after the next. And I only have myself to blame. I can’t keep living knowing I am pushing everyone out of my life and hurting them. If things have been going good for you, I think there is hope my friend, at least good things are happening, as for me things have only gotten worse by the day.

Love to Longboard 2/11/2013 - 11:49 pm

@theworthless1
I have been where you are before so I feel ya and hope things will stop crumbling around you. Even though things have stopped crumbling around me and I still dealing with the aftermath and trying to get back all the pieces.

theworthless1 2/12/2013 - 3:26 pm

I wish I could take words of wisdom and courage to help me… But I know me better than anyone and I know my loved ones have the will power to get past my absence and I don’t have the will power anymore to keep going. At one time I did but I lost it. The things that everyone tells me to let go of and the things that people tell me to move on from, are the things that are the hardest to let go of the things that I held dearest to my heart, and the things that truly made me feel happy for once… And to no surprise they are taken from me again. And I am left with nothing but a pain worse than hell…

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