It all hurts

I look up and see the clouds above me. I feel pain and only pain when the rain falls. It feels like acid eating at my skin.

I feel pain with every key stroke on this post. I know you don’t get it. IT ALL HURTS.

I feel pain when see my phone, a piecing pain that shoots through me for every text from my so called friends.

The fake smile I put on for the world to see pulls on my heart telling me to cry. I stay dehydrated so I  don’t cry so none knows.

I stay strong don’t let it show. I see the faces of my little siblings. I see them look at me happily when I get off the bus. It is the only thing holding me back from that blade cutting into my skin letting me feel a little more pain, telling me I am not empty yet.

I cry in the middle of the night and claim I am sick the next day. Clearly not dehydrated enough.

I feel half empty leaking slowly soon nothing will be left but a shell of that happy girl gone mad over night.