no longer suicidal

I hadn’t posted in a while .. had to pass by to let y’all know I’m doing better

Of course, this didn’t happen overnight .. It required commitment to one decision, a lot of willpower and taking action based on that decision

Around mid-october, I took the decision that I wasn’t going to kill myself .. I was tired of thinking life could be worth it one day and to hell with this world the next day, I had to pick a side to put an end to the confusion .. It was one tough decision to make because it went against a burning desire to check out .. I was 10x closer to death than life back then

I did a lot of self-conditioning by practice of positive self-talk .. I’d tell myself things like: you’re too a warrior to kill yourself, you’re a winner/conqueror, you’re here to overcome obstacles and create your destiny, you didn’t go through all that BS to give up now etc .. it sounded a bit silly at first but with time those thoughts have been morphing into beliefs

You really have nothing to lose by doing this: create thoughts to your liking, and work on turning them into beliefs by (a) repeating them as often as needed and (b) attaching a powerful emotion/feeling to them (enthusiasm, faith etc) .. you’ll be programming your mind to work for you (and no longer against you) .. do this on the regular and notice how you’ll feel 4-5 weeks later

I’d strongly recommend the practice of meditation .. if positive self-talk doesn’t appeal to you, give meditation a try .. don’t tell yourself “why should it work ?” , “I’m too rational for that” etc .. just give meditation a GENUINE try !

I also read a lot of books .. two books I’d like to recommend are (1) awaken the giant within by Anthony Robbins and (2) think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill .. I believe anybody can find some useful ideas in those books