I feel pain every single day and it never seems to go away.
It is deep in my chest and hurts so much.
I try so hard to do the best I can in life but yet it’s never good enough. I can’t concentrate and I feel I’m sinking deeper and deeper.
It’s hard when you have no real good friends that can relate to you as well. So yes, I feel so alone in my own life.
So the question is, what can I do? I’m seeing a councilor but my parents will allow no medication.
I don’t know what to do because I can’t seem to talk to anyone really and when I get the chance, I get so scared of judgment seeing as I’ve experienced a lot of criticisms from people in my life.
2 comments
Hey there. I have experienced a lot and could probably empathize with you and help. I have never and will never judge a person. If you want you could talk to me. I would love to help you. I’m positive you’re a great person and just blinded by other people’s foolishness. But if you’d like the offer is open to talk. Just for conversation or to talk about any problem you have. Whatever you would like. Promise I’m not a weird person lol. Just want to help out the people of this world.
I get so scared of judgment
Like most of us here, I’d be willing to bet that when you receive positive judgments you don’t give much weight while anything negative you fixate on. This would be unskillful.
You will find in almost all cultures a warning when it comes to judgment for a reason as it is a tool extremely difficult to wield skilfully
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Judge not least you be judged is a warning that when creating judgments we are creating boundaries that we might also be held accountable to. Fair enough, if I judge a person as bad based a single attribute, I too may be judged based on a single attribute.
I don’t want that so I try not to judge a person as bad or good especially based on a single attribute.
So why do I still fear judgment?
If others judge me as I don’t judge them, the rule says the judgment is really about them, not me.
I should only fear judgment if I myself am judging harshly.
Judgment requires active participation wither given or received so there is nothing to fear if you decide not to participate. Assuming a goal of “doing better when we know betterâ€, which is the best anyone can do; judgment is nothing to be feared and becomes only a tool.
Often a fear of judgment is really a fear of not measuring up to what we think others want of us.
The fear of not measuring up is a fear of not being loved or accepted.
The problem with such measuring is that it is always subjective. Being subjective there is no defining unit of measurement. Thus all such measurements contain an illusionary factor and as such are unhelpful.
I’m willing to bet you judge yourself more harshly then you would ever judge others. It is truly harder to receive then to give.
This brings us to the golden rule
One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated.
This also implies that you should treat yourself as you would treat others.
I am certain of only one thing, we create what we fear. Living based on others judgments and hoping that if we do they will love us is not living and is not love, and will not create what we want.
Drill deep into your fears and you will see them for what they are, illusions.
Only you can live your life, only you experience what you experience, in this we are alone but also alike.
This fact when embraced leads to compassion for others and our selves. Uniquely special like everyone else, within this compassion we are never alone.
Life is paradox. To live well we must learn to die well. We can laugh, cry, love, hate, be happy, be sad… there is a moment for all things and nothing to fear when we don’t hold on and grasp at them as they flow by.