Uh hey

I keep forgetting about this site

So I’ve actually gotten better. I never thought I would but looks like I did.

I fucked up last night though. I was a mess. It sounds really stupid, but I think the one of the reasons I hadn’t cut for two weeks was because of my bracelets. My bracelets are hard to get off, and I didn’t want to take them off. I was being extremely self destructive, and I can feel that while typing this. My pinkie finger is fucking up bad, mainly because I pretty well crushed it. My arm is burned, because I decided to drip hot wax all over it. Two of my fingers are burned because I held them over a candle. And I cut up my wrist.  The main reason why I hadn’t cut in so long was my best friend. He’s one of the most amazing people I have ever met. He’s helped me through shit and I love him. He told me about a few times he’s tried to kill himself, and I realized the fact that if we had never met, I probably wouldn’t be here. My ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t help at all. I don’t think he cares. All he wants is for me to send him dirty pictures, and thats it. He’s cheated on me multiple times. He doesn’t give a fuck. My mom is a *****. I can’t do anything right. She’s always screaming at me for fucking something up. She’s called me a ***** multiple times. Its not even close to what other people go through, but it still pisses me off. I HAVE to get out of this house. I really do. I mean, there’s literally one person who I would be scared of leaving if I ever did decide to kill myself. He’s the only fucking reason I haven’t. I’m serious. He’s my best friend and he’s amazing. I’m showing him the website when he gets back, maybe he’ll like it. Maybe he’ll read this. Maybe he’ll know its me. Or maybe I won’t show it to him. But just in case I do, and just in case he reads this, a few words: 1 year, and 8 months. 🙂