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Unspoken

by Luck.Hope

Its been awhile since I was last on here..still feeling the same but at least the thoughts of suicide have gotten better. But I don’t feel better about myself at all and its just getting worse in terms of that. I feel like the I’m the biggest idiot because I allowed myself to have feelings for someone that I probably should of, I made the mistake of being friends with benefits with one of my oldest friends. At the end of the day thats all he’ll ever want is just sex he wont want to be in a relationship with me, I mean why would he? He already has sex with me and I treat him like gold. All of this and he doesn’t have to be in a relationship with me and I guess thats what hurts me most is because at the end of the day I actually love and care about him. I wish he knew the amount of pain this causes me, not knowing something is one of the worse things a person can go through because you find yourself going through every possible good and bad scenerio and your just hoping for the best of the situation…but when it comes down to it how often does that happen?.

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Edd_ 2/7/2013 - 3:16 am

Have you done any moves to make him know how you feel? Maybe he just doesn’t know that he’s causing you all this pain. I’m now saying that this is the solution to your problem. All I’m saying is maybe it’s worth a shot. Yo

Edd_ 2/7/2013 - 3:17 am

Have you done any moves to make him know how you feel? Maybe he just doesn’t know that he’s causing you all this pain. I’m now saying that this is the solution to your problem. All I’m saying is maybe it’s worth a shot. You’re old friends after all.

Luck.Hope 2/7/2013 - 3:22 am

That’s the thing..he knows we gotten into fights over it…a couple of months ago I have him 2 weeks to make up his mind and it was no:(

Edd_ 2/7/2013 - 3:30 am

I’m sorry to hear that. The way I see it, you really have to let go. That’s just my 2 cents. I have no idea how much he means to you. He may well be your sole reason to live. But if you are willing to keep moving forward, you have strongly consider the fact that you have to end this “relationship”. Maybe not permanently. Maybe distance will do both of you good. Again, just my 2 cents. You may have already realized everything I just said.

dragonfly_whisper 2/7/2013 - 5:48 pm

Sorry you are struggling with this. Ultimatums rarely work, but I agree you cannot be something he claims on occasion. I know it sounds cliche’, but he will see your worth only when you see it yourself. Let him go. Be you. Be strong. And be willing to know yourself before becoming involved with another person?

Most likely, he will come to remember why the 2 of you were / are so close.

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