35 years on this planet and too many things have gone wrong

I’m a loser,no job,no talent,no friends,no family,never had someone really love me it was all fake. All I am doing is existing I am not living I have felt this way since eight years old when I lost a pet bird and realize how life is so short and things around you die and leave pain behind. I truly want to not exist any longer…. too many things have gone wrong in my life and I cannot erase or ignore this darkness that has taken over me and follows me everywhere. Why does the world look at people like me as insane or crazy or needing help? Why cant some just accept that there are people in this world that have great lives and opportunity while others don’t. Some people just don’t want to live and that’s it…..it does not make them crazy. I feel I see the world for what it really is and I dont like it, and I am not even religious but this has to be hell there’s no way around it…only here we can kill,steal,lie,feel pain,bleed, and die.