I don’t know why I feel like this

My life is good. I don’t have to worry about much, my parents give me food, shelter, money etc. I’m in college doing a degree I love, but have no motivation to do any of the assignments. I feel like killing myself all the time because it would just be easier than feeling pain all the time. I just don’t want to live. I struggle to do things now. I only do them because I don’t want my parents to be disappointed. All the money they wasted on me for a failed son.   I’ve made plans to kill myself before my birthday, but I don’t know if I’ll go through with them. I’m just a burden and worthless. No one would really care if I was gone and this is a good thing. What’s the point of living if you’re always unhappy and have to lie or distract yourself to not think about ending it all. I just want to cry all the time, but I don’t understand why. I know other people have way more stuff to deal with, like stuff to actually contemplate suicide and I’m here crying on an anonymous board over the most trivial, pathetic reasons to not live. I don’t deserve to live because of this. I know that sounds stupid, but that’s what I think of all the time. They should just give my organs to kid who wants to live or a person on the transplant list. At least then I’d have done something worthwhile.