My home situation have been very tough. As little girl I had every lie through at home. My mom has/had a relationship with an other man. My dad does everything at home cooking, laundry, bringing me and my 2 brothers to bed and school etc. My mom never does that and never gives us love. And my dad doesn’t too, he just does the standard stuff. She denies that she has a relationship with the other man. They are just friends she says. I just saw the man a couple months ago for the first time (never want to again). But people have seen them kissing and im not crazy. So I know it’s true. When I was young I always felt sympathy for my dad, but he is a grown up man and he does nothing about it. So yeah I don’t like that my mom does this. But it’s my parents marriage and their choice to do it like this. But I can’t take the lies. The Hate. And the Fighting. My mom lies a lot and punish me a lot. Saying the worst things to me when we’re alone. And then when my dad or someone else is there I got it all wrong what she said. And everything is just a miss understanding. Â People who knew about the situation and said someting off it are gone out off our live. We (me and my brothers) can’t see or speak with them anymore.
I could always, just with talking to my friends about it and get out off the house alot, hide this and just do my school and other normal stuf. I could put up a smile for the rest of the world. I tryed to get help but my mom always says I’m someone who overstate things. But 5 months ago I had a bad accident. I broke my shoulder and was in the hospital for a couple days. I had a lot off pain and recovery takes very long. I needed to go to a therapist because off everything that happend in the hospital and I told almost everything there. Only the fact that I suicide plans I didn’t tell. I got depressed they said.Â My mom got very mad for telling (as always) and there was a lot of fighting (again).
But I can’t to it anymore. I’m empty. I just want someone who gives me love. I want my mom to stop lying. It’s driving me crazy. I don’t know what to believe anymore. I want to help my brothers, because they are getting there where I’m now. They don’t deserve that. But I don’t know how. I just want this all to stop. And don’t know an other way. I’m 15 now and I can’t think off a time where I didn’t know all of this and was just a kid. I have alot of problems because off al this and I hate myself.
I just want it to stop. I’m to tired to fight. To try and help my brothers. It has killed me. It has broke who I was. I’m just empty.