My Suicide Attempt Story…

My Names Jade And This is My Story ……..Well , it all started when I was in 1^st grade……yeah , early right? I was being bullied everyday , not like calling me names when they walk by , 12 boys everyday at recess , pushed me on the ground and kicked me and hit me and threw things at me ……i tried telling teachers , and they thought I was faking , my own cousin tried stopping it ….she would grab a teacher , and they didn’t care either , I brought my mom and my mom even saw the boys kick me and beat me up , she ran towards me after they were done , she didn’t have time to stop them…..i was covered in blood , and crying my mom ran me into the nurse and while the nurse cleaned me up , my mom started yelling about the school system to the principal and she said “my 6 year old daughter will not be at a school were she is bullied every day , shes moving , so she wont be here , today’s her last day.” and then we moved to a different city . I know …new city , new friends , new teachers , and new life…..nope…i felt different at my new school , I didn’t really have any friends , so my mom moved me to a different school in the same city before. I did like this school but I had no friends ….until I met this boy named Tomas 🙂 I had the biggest crush on tom 🙂 I would sit at home and imagine what would happen if me and tom got married , you know planning my future fairy tail ending . Well I started getting in trouble in my class’s , just by talking to tom during class , I would get in trouble blah blah whatever , I didnt care unless I had my best friend/ crush………then came second grade……my mom was pregnant with my little brother mason…..since we lived in an apartment at the time , we had to move…again. So I had to leave my only friend ._. and go to a new school , this time I liked this school 🙂 I had a lot of friends, the most amazing friends I could ever had , I forgot about tom , and had a new crush ,yeah 3^rd grade was like my favorite year, but came fourth grade , I didn’t like my teacher….so I would get in trouble all the time just to get out of my class…..and the education sucked , my spelling words where like , go . Stop . Cat . Dog ……really annoying ,so I was in gifted and talented. And I had to move again. Our house had rats and raccoons , so we moved to another school closer to my new house……this school I didn’t care for but I forgot my old friends and made new friends and actually found my best friend Morgan there. I liked fourth grade I had friends in my class , then came 5^th grade…..i hated 5^th grade , I had no emotion at all , I would come to school and just sit there through the class……my best friend Morgan was in a different class , so I had the worst year evarrrrrrrrr!!!! then I went to middle school , I was really happy because I made LOTS of friends and got to see Morgan a lot , that was the first time ive ever had alottt of friends then I ever needed , people I didnt know even knew me….u could say I was popular , but the really popular girls were bitches and sluts….but everyone was sooo nice to me , the called me funny and skinny and beautiful…..ive never been complimented like that , my family is really the only people who compliment me……i didnt have nice clothes , always too big , I grew into those clothes I weighed 145 lbs…….yeah I know fat………the bitches and sluts called me names but I didnt care, I made even more best friends Michaela , Camryn , Isela , And Lucy 🙂 they are my ride or dies…..than at the end of 6^th grade my best friend Morgan moved ._. I Became more vulnerable because more mean girls moved to my school , and I started getting bullied again …i found I way out of it …..volleyball and dance and Cheer Was My Life so I stuck to that for a year until 7^th grade…..beginning of 7^th grade , one of the bullies was picking on my friends…….so I stuck up for her , I knew what being bullied feels like….not good …so then the next day I was at volleyball practice and I didnt feel good so I was packing up , the bullies walked up to me , the bully was trying to fight me , I told her “ I dont want to fight , my rides here.” …that didnt stop her….she closed the door to the locker room , everyone was getting out cameras…….i knew what was happening …she got in my face and yelled “hit me.” … I simply said “im not going to hit you.”….so she slapped my arm and laughed , I started laughing, then she looked at me and started to punch my arms , then she got close to my neck…thats when I hit back……i pushed her on the ground and she got back up I pulled her hair out and hit her in the eye…she started bleeding on me and she tried to take of my shirt.. so I rammed her into the wall while I was hitting her in the stomach and her face…….and then my volleyball coach came in and broke us up……everyone walked away with that video on their phones and ipods…i started crying…..she brought us to the office and she sat us down and the first thing she said was “ both of u are kicked of the team.” …..i immediately was devastated… volleyball is my life….so when I got home , I fell asleep…..that was my first sign of depression……and I went to school two days later ….everyone was saying “jade got her ass beat.” I went to the bathroom and cried …i didnt eat lunch that day….didnt talk to anyone…….when I got home I started to cry and sleep and had thoughts of suicide…..i felt like giving up……but I stayed strong and lived on with life….then my uncle died…….my true family………i felt like not being here again…i wanted my uncle…….no , I needed him …..thats when I started cutting……and the girl I got in a fight with found out……..she couldnt stop she called me “ emo , fatass , lesbian , retarded …” all the worst names…i went home and cutt on my stomach , noone would see them because I was fat ……i weighed 160……i hated myself …..i thought “ you dumbass , u knew this would happen , it always does , you have noone to love you , not even your own mom , she loves your brother more than you , hes perfect , hes the cutest thing alive , why even try fat ass…..noone cares anyways….” I was about to kill myself , like anyone cared …….i had the pills and note ready and all I opened the cap and then…….i got a phone call….it was my dad……i answered it , he said he didnt feel right , he said he thought something was wrong so he wanted to see if I was okay…..he talked to me for and hour and told me he loved me….that’s when I said to myself “ what are u doing , your dad loves u , your his only child …what would happen to him if u were dead? Don t …do…it” so I put up the pills and tore and burned the note ……i wasn’t eating right though……i lost 30 pounds……my doctor made me re-gain the weight tho , and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I am healthy now …my friends help me with that and my mom does too……..they make sure im happy and living life to its fullest….i am happy to say that its the end of 7^th grade and im healthy and havent cut in 3 months , all because I realized …people actually love me…. so why give up? ……if you are still reading this and thinking about giving up…dont , people do love u ……….You May Not know me? But…i love you , and I care about you……you are a great person and you have a wonderful life….this is just my story….whats yours?