I have been on this site for about a month now. Â I have read a lot of posts and commented on some. Â Meanwhile I struggle more and more everyday. Â I feel like I am screaming please help me but all I hear is things like “you’ll feel better when the spring comes”, or “you’ll feel better when you get back to work”. Â A little background, I have been off work for 3 years because I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Â I have told my psychiatrist that I am feeling depressed, eating and sleeping too much but even he doesn’t understand how much I am struggling right now. Â I think of how worthless I am and how much strain I have put on everyone else in my life. Â Nobody wants to hire me, all I do now is lie in bed all day, I trace the veins and arteries in my arm and imagine cutting myself. Â I am a cutter anyway but I imagine deep slashes. Â I wish someone would hear me. Â I still go out sometimes, but when I do, I come home and cry, I can feel how people look at me, they know I am worthless too. Â They can see into my mind and see how bad a person I am, they can see the demons inside me so now I am spending more time alone. Â I hope someone reads this and maybe understands how I feel.