duh , that is what i feel like right now…. severely demented… i can’t think straight . i think i am past the point of redemption…. i just wanna scream out loud from the top of the tallest building. But do i want to jump off it, I don’t know, not right now…. i am not yet in that phase of my depression cycle. I know i sound crazy and i know nobody cares… right now i don’t care that nobody cares. all i wanna do is weep my heart out, wash out the madness. run away from all this…. i want to live a better life…. i want it to be organized… i am so tired of letting it take a course of its own. i want some meaning. i am tired of all the nightmares , the suffocation, the struggle and everything else…. but for a change… i don’t want to die… i want a better life… i am gonna try… i keep saying this , but i never really do anything to make my life better… i am educated enough, got a job , even got some people who loves me… i just am not happy… there are a lot of things that are not ok , actually a lot of things that are really screwed up in my life ….but i don’t want to talk about it anymore… all of this is so crappy…. i need to get out of all this, for good…..
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people do care. you just have to find them. things always get worse before they get better but thats no reson to just give up. trials are ere to make you stonger. you can make it through all of it and you’ll be glad you didn’t decide to end it all when you make it to thetop.
thanks for the thought… but i don’t have any false hopes of making it to the top… i like the way you think and hope you have a good life. hold on strongly to what you have said here and you will make it through every difficulty in your life…
It depends ‘to be or not to be’, you could be very ignorant by holding stronly to false beliefs about things, it could very well explain your depression, I mean depression isn’t there for nothing, it is to indicate that you are motivated to achieve something, which simply can’t be achieved. When is ‘the top’ achieved in your eyes? Don’t set goals too high, I see myself doing that all the time, setting goals which are just too high for me.
And I realise that that is causing my depression occasionally.