tomorrow..

I woke up this morning, it was awful.

Tomorrow, I have my first shrink appointment in two years. I’m anxious, my heart sinking at the thought of it. The last time I was in her office, I told her about being raped. She made me tell my mom, even drove me home so she could be sure I would do it. But, being poor, I cant afford another one in town.

I’m near tears, not excited about this, but my boyfriend needs me to seek professional help, whether he’ll admit it or not. I don’t think he can take my shit anymore. I hurt inside, I ache. I want to cut, but i have nothing to use and I promised  him I would stop.