Where to go from here.

So Its another day. Again im still here amazing how i can try too pull my life together when its easily falling apart. Like people care. Im not eating.im cutting.Not takeing my meds.My papas drinking all the time i dont understand this anymore whats going on with him ?? i mean hes been acting strange we barely have food in are house because he spends all the damn money on beer.Me and me boyfriend broke up and now i feel lost like everything i had going for me turned out for the worst i mean i loved him. Where Still gonna be friends.. Im going too see him when he gets back from where he is and maybe we with get back together. maybe have makeup sex. I mean i fucking love him hes like me whole world and i never wanted to lose him i mean i havent really we talk like everyday still. and i havent slept in a couple of days i mean what the hell i cant see why life is like this at all.