I really think I am a loser.
I’m almost 25, living in a tiny room in my parents’ place. I know they think I’m a drag and a burden. I should have worked harder in college and not gotten kicked out. I just didn’t give a damn about my classes and I should’ve just argued it out and changed majors, but I didn’t and I flunked a third time. Three strikes right?
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Working part-time at a pretty thankless job, but they’re all thankless. The only full-time employees are managers, of which there are 5 as oppossed to 7 employees. That seems pretty out of whack to me.
I’m a shitty role-model for my brother. Here, in this tiny room, I’m my own worse enemy and made a torture chamber for myself. I have no prospects unless I want to start piling on colege loans. I barely eek out $60 a week and a lot of that is going to gas and food. Oh yeah, did I mention my parents told me I’m on my own when it comes to feeding myself?
I feel really spoiled though. Here I am rent free, paying no utilities but a roof over my head and hot water to shower. But I’m a drain. I am. I’m a useless drain who doesn’t have the strength to hold down two part-time jobs to save for college. I get so freaking stressed out thinking about how I could move out since most of the apartments anywhere close to my job are $400-600 a month. Most of my friends have “grown-up” jobs so they have their own houses or a really nice apartment I can’t keep up.
SOME DAYS, I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY AND DIE IN THE DITCH. THEN I WONT BE A BURDEN.
Well, I’ve whined enough, a lot of kids probably have it worse than me, 6 am shift. Stay strong out there.
2 comments
they kick me out in July, I’ve just been informed. Look for my farewell tour then.
Sorry for what you’re going through.
It’s interesting that you say other people you know are all working “grown up jobs” and have houses or apartments better than yours. I’m a 26 year old guy and I can not say that I see the same thing in the group of people that I know. And I wouldn’t say I’m just friends with a bunch of losers either. I’m not really even talking about friends specifically, just people I know in the same age group who went to school with me or grew up around here.
I know a lot of people living at home. Some of them are working but they aren’t really “careers”, just whatever they can get to make a paycheck. Nobody I know has really stepped up to making 80 thousand dollars a year and owning their first house already or anything crazy like that.
Hell, it’s not just our age group, the neighbors next door to where I grew up have had their middle aged children move back in to try to save money. And I know some of my parent’s friends also have had their kids move back home with their new young baby.
Lots of people are struggling out there. It’s not just you. I know that doesn’t really make you feel any better about your situation, but it would be different if everyone else was succeeding while you struggled. I’m not sure who your group of friends are or what area you live in, but I think what you described is actually uncommon, I’m surprised to hear you say that most people you know have careers and houses and all that already. I don’t think most people our age are having luck with that right now.
I see you added on a short response, your parents are kicking you out this summer? Is there no way to compromise with them about that? Do they not understand how bad things are out in the world right now? Do you help out around the house? Even though you do go to work and try to earn some money for yourself, if they are giving you a place to stay, maybe be a little more proactive about offering to help out around the house, or even though you’re hardly making any money, ask them if you can contribute a little bit financially to be allowed to stay? Heck you’re already doing more than most people I know when you say you already have to provide your own food.
If you do have to move out, you’ll make it. Maybe you’ll even be happier to finally be out of home. Any friends who you think would want to be roomates? Or even if you have to get one of the 400-500 places, you really don’t think you can get enough hours at work or a second job to be able to handle that? Apartments are even more expensive where I’m at. I have a tiny little apartment and it’s $700.
I hope things work out for you. Just try to realize you are far from alone. So many people are struggling right now, and it’s kinda crappy that your family doesn’t seem to realize that. Would they be happier to let you stay at home if you started working on your education again? Ask them if making another attempt at that would make them happy.