I really think I am a loser.
I’m almost 25, living in a tiny room in my parents’ place. I know they think I’m a drag and a burden. I should have worked harder in college and not gotten kicked out. I just didn’t give a damn about my classes and I should’ve just argued it out and changed majors, but I didn’t and I flunked a third time. Three strikes right?
Working part-time at a pretty thankless job, but they’re all thankless. The only full-time employees are managers, of which there are 5 as oppossed to 7 employees. That seems pretty out of whack to me.
I’m a shitty role-model for my brother. Here, in this tiny room, I’m my own worse enemy and made a torture chamber for myself. I have no prospects unless I want to start piling on colege loans. I barely eek out $60 a week and a lot of that is going to gas and food. Oh yeah, did I mention my parents told me I’m on my own when it comes to feeding myself?
I feel really spoiled though. Here I am rent free, paying no utilities but a roof over my head and hot water to shower. But I’m a drain. I am. I’m a useless drain who doesn’t have the strength to hold down two part-time jobs to save for college. I get so freaking stressed out thinking about how I could move out since most of the apartments anywhere close to my job are $400-600 a month. Most of my friends have “grown-up” jobs so they have their own houses or a really nice apartment I can’t keep up.
SOME DAYS, I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY AND DIE IN THE DITCH. THEN I WONT BE A BURDEN.
Well, I’ve whined enough, a lot of kids probably have it worse than me, 6 am shift. Stay strong out there.