This guy from my past has been calling me but tonight he was going on about how he helped some girl at the library where he works and it was like he was trying to upset me about it, its hard to explain, he plays mind games, and the stupid thing is it worked. He has upset me. I am very vulnerable right now and he knows it. What is it about me?
So I made an excuse and hung up, but now I am feeling even more shakey. The thoughts are, I dont want to feel like this anymore, I cant do this anymore. I feel really sick, almost numb but with some sick feelings. I’d rather be crying. But i went for a walk and its cold out, but it didnt help me at all.
I think I was hoping, you know, hoping about this guy a little. I wasnt going to start anything, but I just at least hoped for someone to talk to. But no. And I started to think of ways to do something, but I can’t hurt my brother who I am staying with right now. But it scares me to feel and think this way.
I just want something to believe in. I think that’s what I’ve lost. The blind belief that everything will turn out okay. That’s all gone now.
3 comments
I’ll talk to you one on one, sometimes we need someone who understand us to talk and listen.
I wonder the same thing…I don’t pay attention to others anymore. Not relying on others makes it so they can’t hurt you and you can create your own reality where you have the power.
Thank you Riddick and robins.
I would love to chat with you some RIddick, tho you’ve already helped me a lot. I will try and get some sleep now, but Im on here all the time now.
robins, thanks so much for your comment. I know, if i just stay to myself I will at least no that no person is going to hurt me anymore. I’d rather be with a pet i think. sad, but true. I like what you said about creating your own reality. I should do that. THanks. <3