I have tried it all. I hate therapy. I hate it. I went in with an open mind, I swear. I didn’t want to take medication. And I didn’t want my parents involved. I was forced to have a family session. I was pressured into seeing a “crazy” doctor. He gave me stuff. I never even take Advil. But I said I’d try for my boyfriend. I constantly forgot. Constantly. Even when I set alarms. Therapist guiled me about it every time we met. Set second appointment with doctor. Ended up not being able to go. Now, he says my parents have to be involved or he won’t see me. Why can’t anyone listen to me? I’m the one with the problem. Help doesn’t exist. They’re all too caught up in themselves. I tried to go talk to the therapist tonight. She left her office. I told her I was coming and she left. And now I have nothing. No where to turn. Nothing. I’m making my boyfriend miserable but I have no options. I can’t function. I want to die.
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My therapist has gotten to be sort of the same way. I just think they can get to a point where they stop listening because they think they know best and they want to help so badly. The problem is, when what they want or do doesn’t work, they get frustrated. They don’t realize that there is so much going on inside a client’s head and instead of just listening (and maybe learning something and gainig insight that would help them be a better helper) they become impatient. Frustrated and sometimes demanding. Rejecting and hurtful. I don’t think they mean to. I just think they are trying too hard and not allowing the relationship to progress and the client to reveal themself at their own, comfortable pace.
I am sorry you feel so alone. I feel the same way.
Can you try a different person? I’ve had some crap ones too, but then I got this brilliant man who was gentle, listened, wasn’t into drugs, gently helped me argue against my crazy thoughts, and gave me lots of really useful ideas for getting through the week and stuff to read. Unfortunately that was in a different country !
I don’t know how much choice your being given but think what You want in someone, like someone who will help you learn how to stop negative thinking, or whatever, someone not into drugs, maybe a more holistic therapist and interview them. I’ve seen 3 crappy therapists this past year but finally found someone I really like. Ok, I still feel shit, but at least I feel she is trying to help me and not on some ego trip. She listens, and that is really important. This one woman told me to pretend I was speaking to my mother, so I did tho I thought it was daft, but she said …no, say this!…she had control problems!
So, just saying there may be someone better for you.
I’ve never had a therapist, so feel good about actually finding some help. I’ve found I’m too prideful for that. But when my depression hits me hard, and I have these dark thoughts as well, I know I can turn to my girlfriend for any kind of support. But when this was starting, and she was just exposed to it, I thought I was making her miserable as well. Thered be nights where thats all we talked about, or I’d call her at 1 am and thats all I could talk about, or think about. And I thought to myself, she must hate me, I’m going to lose her, shes miserable.
But she wasn’t, she embraced me at every chance, she protected me, she truly is my rock. And I’m writing to you tonight, just to tell you, no matter how annoyed he may seem, how tired or whatever he does that makes you think he’s miserable. Your wrong. He’s still with you for a reason, because he cares about you and wants to make you safe, secure, happy and feel loved.
If not for anyone else, don’t give up on yourself for him.
It is true. Help just helps the helpers to make their living.
If you get better they will be convinced that they are responsible for it. If you don’t they will blame you for it.
I don’t understand why anybody would try to help anybody to stop negative thinking. Negative thinking is only there when there are negative things to think about, too many of them = negative thinker. you find when your in a life of love and enjoyment your thinking follows suit.
‘Therapy’ is trash though. Just full of barmy ‘professionals’ who went to college and think they know something and full of ‘carers’ who dont know how to care!
I need help, but no one will help me because they think they know best. How can they? They are not me, I am me. They do not know me. Nobody truly knows me. Only I know me. I know what I need. I am desperate for help, but people are just too reluctant to give me the kind of help I really need
Same here! Every where I turn all I find is a black stone wall.
People really do underestimate the power of love .. great song lol .. Love has healing properties, It can change you and your whole life, I know it can .. its done that for me before. Thats part of the reason why I search and hope, need and pray for it (although i dont really pray) .. but its the hardest thing to find and why? ‘toppers love’!! .. You got to heal yourself, you’ve got to retune yourself, you’ve got to dig yourself out of your own fucking grave and while your out of it, all dirty covered with mud. people will despise ya for the mud.
Its true, there is no help. Only the strong survive, and only the weak and unworthy get a walk in the park.
“black stone wall”
I rather view it as a valley between mountains of insurmountable obstacles.
Sure, you can wander from pass to pass, enjoying the limited space in the valley, dreaming of escape and planning routes…
But each pass is somehow blocked, and every applicable method doesn’t quite work.
You can get halfway up, or only a few steps, or even try to escape over the tallest peak. But there’s always something stopping me, that would only work if something i can’t change, were different.
Ultimately, it all comes down to where, and with what, we start.
If we start in just the right set of circumstances, make just the right moves at just the right times, and manage to not get torn apart by the obstacles we face along the way… then we “make it.” Otherwise, it’s just another tragic failure, and most people won’t even know who to blame, and so the easiest thing to do is blame the person who lived the life they didn’t want, for making it that way… as if we all exist in our own isolated microcosms, separate from all the ripples the billions of other people make. Sometimes it takes but a single ripple to dramatically alter another person’s life, in a way they cannot overcome.
Yeah, the only ‘ripples’ I’ve been feeling is ripples of everything that is wrong with this world. No one does me a good turn, no one is there for me at a time of crisis, no one is willing to SEE who I really am, no one is willing to take a chance on me, No one is willing to be a really positive light in my life. I try to be and can be for others, but for me? nah .. let him fucking die, dont even care if he wants to. Don’t care about anything that he might really be just because of that little ‘spot’ upon his nose. They don’t have spots so they have happy lives