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I don’t want to be here anymore…

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

I’m done… Just wished I had a gun right now, so I could kill myself. I hate my life. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!
I’m NOT happy, I never was and I’ll never be. My parents don’t understand me, they only make me feel more worthless and lonely, like I’m a piece of trash, a mistake. Constantly have arguments with them because they don’t understand me. Therapy doesn’t work, medications doesn’t work. I’m just desperate… Don’t know what to do anymore. The only way out I see is killing myself, and actually it’s a pretty good option for me I guess. What’s life worth when you don’t want to live anymore??

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6 comments

Scar504 4/23/2013 - 2:42 pm

Hey Engeltje, I don’t know your situation, but please don’t do anything rash. It sounds like you’re in meltdown mode. Did something happen?

When we’re desperate our vision gets blurred; we make bad decisions, and we believe that everything is hopeless. Please try ride it out. Just because none of the stuff you mentioned hasn’t worked yet doesn’t mean it won’t.

JaneDoe822 4/23/2013 - 4:37 pm

I dont know whats wrong with your life but i do know how it feels to be in a situation of wanting to kill oneself…it hurts n its the worst feeling ever…i just hope u feel better…
You r not alone at all im with u n i understand…

Engeltje 4/24/2013 - 2:41 am

@Scar504,
No, nothing happened. I’m just really depressed, but I’m that most of the days :(. I just don’t have any hope that something will work… My therapists don’t listen to me, don’t take me serious, I think nothing will work for me. I’ll never be happy, I constantly fight to be alive and have a nicer life, but it doesn’t work, my life only gets harder and less nice. Like I said, the only way out I see is killing myself…
Thanks for your comment.

@JaneDoe822,
I just whish there was someone in my area who understands me like the people here on SP do, but I guess you can only understand this when you also had that feeling. Thanks for your comment.

JaneDoe822 4/25/2013 - 2:20 pm

Its okay Engeltje! After all thats the reason we are here; to share our stories and pain with the people who know how it feels to be so damn down and out!
I hope you feel better!

freakmeout 4/26/2013 - 1:24 am

I have also been in your position, I dont know your past or pressent but I can say ive been to the “darkside”! shinks know what a book tells them and thats it. Just hang in and try to make the best of, a bad situation. Wish I could help you more than just words.

Engeltje 4/26/2013 - 1:08 pm

Thanks to you all! And freakmeout, words from someone who understands you and knows what you’ve made through can help more than a therapist can 😉 I really like this site and love the people on this site which are so sweet and helpfull… <3

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