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I just want to be normal.

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

I constantly ask myself: “Why can’t I just be normal?” I mean, I can’t go to school, but normal people can. I can’t call to someone, normal people can. I’m afraid to be outside alone or in the dark, normal people aren’t afraid for that. There are so many things that I wish that they were the same as ‘normal’ people. But probably I can’t be normal, but it’s hard for me to accept that…

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12 comments

just.me.20 4/4/2013 - 4:48 pm

Little angel, do you want me to tell you a secret? You are normal! Everyone has fears, everyone feels sadness… You should learn to see the good in you, to apreciate yourself more…

MarilynMonkeyFace 4/4/2013 - 5:01 pm

Sometimes I try to be normal but then it gets boring so I go back to being me:)

just.me.20 4/4/2013 - 5:03 pm

@MarilynMonkeyFace Best thing to do! 😀

SadBk 4/4/2013 - 5:07 pm

Reminds me of what ~she~ used to say… “I’ll never be normal”… only, ~he~ never wanted her to be normal, and probably wouldn’t have loved her so much if she was.

Some of us have a skewed definition of that word (myself included). There are certain parts of my not-normal-ness that I like, things that people find funny or quirky… it’s the omg-you’re-a-freak things that are hard to deal with, isn’t it. *hugs*

MarilynMonkeyFace 4/4/2013 - 5:28 pm

@just.me.20 – Isn’t it? Much less complicated;more fun.

just.me.20 4/4/2013 - 5:35 pm

@MarilynMonkeyFace Definitely! Not caring about what others say or how you’re “supposed” to be… 🙂

MarilynMonkeyFace 4/4/2013 - 5:56 pm

@just.me.20 – I’m far from how people are “supposed” to be. I’m currently bleaching my hair to dye it blue:) &nd trying not to fall asleep… That’s why I’m online:)

MarilynMonkeyFace 4/4/2013 - 5:56 pm

@just.me.20 – I’m far from how people are “supposed” to be. I’m currently bleaching my hair to dye it blue:) &nd trying not to fall asleep… That’s why I’m online:)

just.me.20 4/4/2013 - 6:08 pm

@MarilynMonkeyFace Blue is a good colour! You could also try purple! Ha ha! 🙂

MarilynMonkeyFace 4/4/2013 - 6:22 pm

@just.me.20 – I wanted purple! But all I have is blue): &nd red but that’s what I’m taking out. &nd I can only dye my hair when my Mom’s out of town. I went pink before red.

coitus 4/4/2013 - 9:06 pm

I agree with just.me.20 most of us are primarily driven by fears. Fear of being embarrassed hurt hungry alone naked ostracized sick wet cold caught imprisoned abused, those sorts of things. On top of that Engeltje schizophrenia carries more anxiety aprehension and fear with the paranoia it brings. You hang in there Engeltje you’re our little Dutch girl. 🙂

Engeltje 4/8/2013 - 8:39 am

Thanks to all of you for the sweet comments. I just wish that society hasn’t such big expectations of people… It would make things much easier. Love you all!!<3

@Coitus,
I'm not little btw 😉 I'm just a sweet Angel from The Netherlands XD

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