It’s the pain I feel

It’s the pain I feel of every minute of every day. The not knowing. I don’t want to feel the ache in my heart anymore it’s killing me. I cry all the time and I breakdown and there is no one to talk to. It’s like living in purgatory. I know killing myself is the cowardly thing to do but I just don’t know how to kill this pain I have. I just want the darkness to take me, take me where there is no more pain. I feel like I’m dying a slow death but I wish it would just hurry up and take me. I’m so tired of this, all of this