Marking Time or is Time Marking Me?

The world is spinning around me

I guess I’m supposed to get a thrill

But all I get is dizzy

Most times, everything is as it seems

And it seems a bit pretentious

To be so busy

 

No offense, but is it real?

All the bounds and leaps we make?

It’s all just spinning wheels

I’m sick of all this water treading

I should be getting somewhere

But I’m a place setting

 

Here I sit on my anxious hands

Like a good child thinks they should

And I’m losing circulation

I sit and watch life and death dance

Thinking, I should be allowed to join by now

But is it really worth my patience?

 

Don’t tell me I have time to waste

It makes me think you don’t understand at all

I’m not one to try and wait

Don’t dare tell me to get over it

Certain things change in my head

And what I hear is get it over with

 

Prove to me you even care what’s wrong

Here, I’ll hold my breath and wait to see

Knowing, I’ll suffocate before you come along

To be fair, I know I would have lied

But I hate to excuse either of our sins

I should be honest; you should have tried

 

But here’s why I won’t respond to your questions:

I know it puts you in a bad place,

And real answers were never your intention

While we’re, briefly, committed to the truth

I probably should say that I value your words

Even a rhetorical, “how are you?”

 

For the record, I’ve been treated like nothing

There are no tricks that haven’t burned me

I could tell all along you were bluffing

And I never expected you to carry my load

Who wants another liability?

I just wanted a friend for the road

 

But really, it’s easier to leave now

Knowing that I’m not attached

No pulling heartstrings to tie me down

Betrayal is a lesser known labor of love

Tearing open a world of options

Now, to choose beyond, below, or above