The condition of one of my rooms is absolutely, horribly disgusting. There’s spilled soda soaked into the carpets, crumbs all over the floor, dirty laundry, and probably something like 30+ bottles of empty diet soda.
I guess the reason I am posting this is that I am ready to die but too depressed to go through the preparations. I am thinking about hiring someone to clean out my car, pack up my belongings, etc. because I want to have a rational, planned out suicide and will never make an impulsive decision to do so. ButÂ unfortunately, I am too tired to go Â through with the cleaning and there is a LOT of cleaning to do. I don’t want anyone to see the dumpster I live in. I have more stories but I will wait to see what people here confess first.
The state I am in is crazy–there is a snowstorm predicted Thursday. Once the weather is nicer, I may pay someone to help me clean and pack everything so that my family and lawÂ enforcementÂ will have less work.
“Why” is not an issue here, which is why I didn’t bring it up. I’m not going to rant about life circumstances or anything here, because I really am here just to 1) perfect my preferable method 2) possibly get new ideas and 3) spend time with human life while isolating from people in real life to make this easier.
I’m too depressed to die in a timely manner..ugh. Under the condition of one thing improving, I plan to commit suicide in late June. I need to start getting the ball rolling and organizing things at work, too. Â I should also make sure I purchase my materials, go for a test run to figure out the details and purchase a backup method. I am terrified to death (unfortunately, not literally) of this backup method and don’t even know where to get it or how to use it, but I plan to donate a lot of things before I die and it would suck to fail and have none of my belongings. I want to do it right the first day.
I kind of miss the posters/commenters who are serious with their intent (purchasing and planning materials needed for a successful completion). I notice them here and there…where are you guys at?