This is it.
Day in, day out. Staring at the four walls of the room. Depression, Anorexia, they say i have.
Suicidal thoughts.
I’m sat in a mental health hospital, Tier 4, 7-day resident. I never leave.
I’ve been here for months, and now, months later, life is still the same.
I look at something and think, can i die using that?
I self harm, i cut, i burn, i don’t stop, razors, straighteners, on my skin, i don’t feel the pain.
I have scars, all over my body, each one telling a story, each one a representation of the hurt i feel.
My family hate me, my friends want nothing to do with me.
Numb is the only way i can describe how i feel. Lost, hopeless.
I’ve been abused, seen my best friend die, watched my family turn one by one against me.
This world isn’t set for me.
People can say they feel suicidal, but some don’t mean it. Some say it as a cry for help.
But for me, death isn’t a cry for help. Death is as real as waking up everyday.
I’m lonely, and scared, i fear myself, i fear the world.
It’s certain, it has to be.
It’s the only final i’ve got.
It will end.
1 comment
i was….lol normal then i smoked weed alot i was happy hilarious entertaining i was love to all i did every psychedelic every drug you can imagine i explored things not many humans do but my love for cannabis also destroyed me i became annorexic i didnt eat anyhing for lengthy periods this helped me remember something i forgot that i starved myself when i was 7 i went into a coma for a month i died i remember it all they saved me against my will but like an elastic band i went from extreme to extreme as i had expierences of bliss and oneness then things u cant imagine swamps of sorrow hellish dimensions death is a door a chance at freedom to be with the pure is that is behound this universe it is our true selfs free but we must reconize it or our nature is to be untill we cleanse ourselfs of impuritys it is all in the being so i wish and bless upon you that you forget and let everything go you know it does not matter all that matter is that your be free! dont think dont remember just breathe and be free <3 i choose to leave this world a long time ago i lost my mind oh it was amazing to just be that pure love but to have to survive in a harsh world such as my reality i sometimes wish id of gone to were you are it would of been easier but i faked it i survived only to promise myself i would die the way i choose the way of bliss for it matters you are i am that pure self it has no boundries it transecends all this bs world
just breath and focus on the gaps inbetween stay there in that void it is beautifull eternal all and free i love you i hope this wasnt 2 much <3