I’ve lived more than half my life, only to realize I haven’t lived at all. I’ve existed, for what purpose I don’t know. Life’s amusement I suppose. I always picture those old movies where the gods are standing idly by over some sort of cauldron as the human race slowly imploads. Only I see myself a puppet guided by the slightest of hand, made to teeter with one foot firmly on solid ground and the other dangling into the abyss of the unknown. Funny thing is I don’t believe in god or the like. I do however believe in kharma and the ability of a wish to come true. And it is true what they say about wishes, be careful you just might get what you ask for. What we don’t see are all the variables that prevent it from being so black and white. There was a time in my existence when things seem to be just that. I was able to push forward, roll with the punches so to speak. But that me no longer exist. I can’t tell you where he’s gone because I don’t know. Doesn’t matter really I’m the only one that knew of his existence.
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Sometimes I feel the same way. Like we’re all in this giant game of chance, just pawns in a giant chess game. A game I never asked to play. It doesn’t seem fair, does it?
That’s exactly how i feel, its almost like im re-born every day.. who i was a couple years ago.. i am no-more.. that leads me to the question.. who am i? or am i just nothing.. merely a simulation of life experience.