every time i start to convince myself that i have made my way through the pain to the otherside where i can live my life something slips inside my mind and destroys everything. i am a dreadful sack of existence. full of potential, wasted. if i had no talent, then it would be easier to waste away. i am a pitiful and pathetic excuse for life. when i speak, only nothing is made. after all, when the nothing man has nothing to say he speaks. i tried, yes, i tried to clean myself up, i got two jobs, i’m going to school, im exercising consistently. i am doing all the things necessary to improve my mood, but i want to die now more than ever. i can not escape the cycle of death
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Hey,
Things can change, you have to realize that … You might be amazed how much talking someone who know what they’re doing can make a difference. Please consider contacting someone, say at http://www.integralcounseling.org/ … I believe you can talk to people over the phone, possible over email, and if you don’t want to spend much money, they can certainly accomodate you. It’s not about pretending to feel better, it’s about actually working through this stuff. Just call! You have nothing to lose.