I made the worst mistake of my life by trying to end it. But the craziest thing happened. It became the biggest blessing as well. I grew up hearing things like, “you’re ugly,” “worthless!” “a mistake” “why didn’t you get an A?” This over time by family, peers, and our culture in general just eroded my self-confidence and by the age of 23 I was in full blown anger and depression. I was so tired of being rejected, judged, teased, bullied, etc that I couldn’t see any other solution but taking my life and so I tried. Well, God decided he had another plan and I failed at that too. But I am glad I did, because after that I woke up in a mental institution and had time to really think and actually LISTEN to what he wanted for me.
I decided, I didn’t want this kind of life anymore so I went to counseling and began to heal. As I did, I noticed all the pain that other people were going through and feeling. It’s amazing if we pay attention just how much people are suffering, but yet still continue to put on a happy face. This is ridiculous, so I decided that maybe my story might help or inspire others to heal and let them know they aren’t alone, so I wrote a book. It’s called Breaking Through Darkness and can be found on Amazon if anyone reading is interested. But anyway, I know how it feels to become a statistic, to be preached at, or given a line like, “it’ll be ok,” or “things will get better.” These empty lines are usually said by people who have no idea what it’s like to hate yourself so much that you just don’t give a crap about living anymore. It’s to make THEM feel better not you. To all the people that feel worthless and don’t feel like your life matters, I just want to say to you. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL !