i want to tell my story, i want people to know the real me.
What I remember most from my childhood is violence, fightsÂ , tears, fear and harassment.
I remember I was afraid to go homeÂ becauseÂ I did not know what was happening at home.
4 years ago I was raped by my brother,Â It happened many times over one year.
The only thing that stopped him was that he moved..I was young and did not realize that it was not appropriate..
I have met him many times after, but I do not understand how he can look into my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened..
A few years later my dad dies. He was my best friend but I lost him to cancer.
It was a very tough time for me afterwards, and I just felt that everything was dark and there was hope for a better life.
I could not sleep and was constantly tired, what had I done to deserve such a life?
I started to self harm, I starve myself and I tried and take my own life..
I was in the hospital twice for overdoses within a year, and I just wanted to give up..
Now I just come home from the hospital for 3 time, but this time I was so sure I was going to die.Â the only thing I think of is death, I feel I have nothing to live for,Â but life is not fair well?
what did i wrong ? why me?