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doesnt matter

by Tormenting Dreams

i could be the smart’s brightest funniest strongest fastest good looking guy in the world or whatever. doesn’t matter what i could be. even still i could achieve or do anything i wanted and it wouldn’t matter because she gives all her affection to everyone else, and then wonders why im depressed and or pissed? like really?

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orangish 5/13/2013 - 2:10 pm

Is she responsible for how you feel? Find someone who gives you what you need – people who don’t, don’t, and that’s usually the way things go. You can’t make someone be and do who and what you want them to be and do if they aren’t already in line for that standard.

clevername 5/13/2013 - 2:23 pm

It’s not about what you could be. It’s about what you Are… and Aren’t.

“She” is allowed to have preferences too… even if you can prove that her method of judgment is wrong, or flawed, or that she lacks accurate or sufficient information to make a decision she’s already decided she wants.

Even if it’s for the most ridiculous, shallow, petty, superficial and greedy reasons in the world… if it’s what she wants, it’s what she wants. If it’s not what she wants, it’s not.

Believe me when i say: i know how much that sucks.

I mean… you can “try,” if that’s what you really want… but if she’s made up her mind, you’re almost certainly wasting both your time.

Don’t let her define you. Define yourself.

Brown Girl 5/13/2013 - 2:43 pm

I totally agree with Clevername. I was always trying to be someone I was not for my ex. After 10 years of trying I finally realized that I was never gonna be what he wanted and it was time to move on. Its been 2 years and yes I am still single but at least I am happy. With in a few months he found the girl he wanted (she did drugs with him and I refused too). If she does not appreciate you for you then its time to move on because when you find the girl who loves you for you it will have a feeling that you probably never imagined could happen.

orangish 5/13/2013 - 4:03 pm

I think the problem might be a misalignment of expectations. It’s not reasonable to expect someone to treat you differently than they do (as clevername said, “It’s not about what you could be, but what you are/aren’t…” Which sounds awfully like an Alan Watts quote, “Not what should be, but what is .”

Everyone is changing all the time in response to their environment and how they interact with it, and how it interacts with them, but sometimes getting pissed off or angry because someone else isn’t meeting your expectations for them, it reinforces a path away from what you want them to be. Nobody likes angry shouting – it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy over time in that the other person will actually start to distance themselves and seek what they need elsewhere.

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