How my friends saved my life

My story is kind of a weird one. But here it goes. My main reason for attempting suicide, was a girl. But this girl, is incredible. Beautiful,
Funny, sweet. Id say more things about how great she is, but that would take a while. Anyway, heres the story. This girl, who i pretty much fell in love with, is like my world at this time. I cant get her out of my mind, i cant sleep because of her. It sounds like thats coming right out of a movie. But its true. I actually love this person. Which didnt work out to well for me. I was very stupid to think a girl like her would ever consider dating me. In fact, she’d probably be ashamed to be seen with me. Anyway, i found out that she liked someone else, and they were gonna date and what not. And when i found that out, it felt like my heart had just cracked into 2 pieces. I was devastated. Now normally i would have gotten over this. But at that time, there was A LOT of other stuff going on. Im not doing well in school, my parents scream at my every night for not doing well, and a lot of other stuff i dont feel like talking about. But basically, when i heard about the girl, that was my tipping point. The thing that pushed me over the edge. I found out at night, and i just thought i would forget about it and move on. I was REALLY wrong. The next day at school couldnt have been worse. I saw her, and wanted to cry. And im a pretty tough guy, which i guess also shows how much i loved this girl.
I was depressed all day at school. And finally i got to go home. And when i got home, thats when i decided to try to kill myself. I felt so alone, so sad. I felt like the only way to actually escape it all was to just flat out die. I went up to my room to try to decide how to do it. I decided to try to kill myself by overdosing. I found some old pills, and i was hoping the bottle would be half full so i could just take them all and wait to die. To my surprise there were only 7 pills left. I started to really think about the situation. was i really going to actually try to kill myself? all of the voices in my head made that an easy decision. it was creepy. just a bunch of voices that kept saying “kill yourself!” “no one likes you! you have no friends! your never gonna get a girl, just end it!” I took all 7 pills. After that i was scared, but kind of relieved. I thought it was finally over. All i did after swallowing the pills was slide down the wall and sit down. I fell asleep right there. I woke up the next morning, covered in puke.
I didnt even remember puking which was weird. I was disappointed i hadnt died. I didnt want to see the girl again, didnt want to talk to my family or friends. But then about a month went by and i started feeling better. But then i saw the girl again, looking absolutely beatiful, and i was crushed that i couldnt have her. I planned to try to kill myself again that night. But that night i was texting one of my bestfriends. One thing lead to another and i told her everything. And she was incredible. She helped me so much. It was really great. She made me realize how many people i would have hurt if i would have died. Anyway, today im doing much better. Ive told 4 of some of my closest friends, and they have all been incredible. If it wasnt for them, id probably be dead. And im not here to tell you everything gets better, even though sometimes it does. Actually, my life hasnt changed really since the day i tried killing myself. Im still in love with the girl, i still have alot of problems. But i can tell you this-suicide is not the only way out. Talk to a friend or family member, they can help you alot. Just how that one amazing friend helped me. ause of her. It sounds like thats coming right out of a movie. But its true. I actually love this person. Which didnt work out to well for me. I was very stupid to think a girl like her would ever consider dating me. In fact, she’d probably be ashamed to be seen with me. Anyway, i found out that she liked someone else, and they were gonna date and what not. And when i found that out, it felt like my heart had just cracked into 2 pieces. I was devastated. Now normally i would have gotten over this. But at that time, there was A LOT of other stuff going on. Im not doing well in school, my parents scream at my every night for not doing well, and a lot of other stuff i dont feel like talking about. But basically, when i heard about the girl, that was my tipping point. The thing that pushed me over the edge. I found out at night, and i just thought i would forget about it and move on. I was REALLY wrong. The next day at school couldnt have been worse. I saw her, and wanted to cry. And im a pretty tough guy, which i guess also shows how much i loved this girl.
I was depressed all day at school. And finally i got to go home. And when i got home, thats when i decided to try to kill myself. I felt so alone, so sad. I felt like the only way to actually escape it all was to just flat out die. I went up to my room to try to decide how to do it. I decided to try to kill myself by overdosing. I found some old pills, and i was hoping the bottle would be half full so i could just take them all and wait to die. To my surprise there were only 7 pills left. I started to really think about the situation. was i really going to actually try to kill myself? all of the voices in my head made that an easy decision. it was creepy. just a bunch of voices that kept saying “kill yourself!” “no one likes you! you have no friends! your never gonna get a girl, just end it!” I took all 7 pills. After that i was scared, but kind of relieved. I thought it was finally over. All i did after swallowing the pills was slide down the wall and sit down. I fell asleep right there. I woke up the next morning, covered in puke.
I didnt even remember puking which was weird. I was disappointed i hadnt died. I didnt want to see the girl again, didnt want to talk to my family or friends. But then about a month went by and i started feeling better. But then i saw the girl again, looking absolutely beatiful, and i was crushed that i couldnt have her. I planned to try to kill myself again that night. But that night i was texting one of my bestfriends. One thing lead to another and i told her everything. And she was incredible. She helped me so much. It was really great. She made me realize how many people i would have hurt if i would have died. Anyway, today im doing much better. Ive told 4 of some of my closest friends, and they have all been incredible. If it wasnt for them, id probably be dead. And im not here to tell you everything gets better, even though sometimes it does. Actually, my life hasnt changed really since the day i tried killing myself. Im still in love with the girl, i still have alot of problems. But i can tell you this-suicide is not the only way out. Talk to a friend or family member, they can help you alot. Just how that one amazing friend helped me.