Yes and no. The “head up stay strong” is good because you’re telling them to stay strong. Move on is ok too because you need to learn to cope. But the “fake a smile ” part isn’t as good. It’s telling people to hide how they really feel and mask their emotions, and sometimes the best thing is to tell someone or let it out somehow.
This is advice i recently got and i just wanted to know if it was good or not. And i like your comment atleast you were actually nice thank you have a great day!
Sometimes when I go nightclubbing my social anxiety kicks in and I feel like I need to ‘fake a smile’ .. usually a fake smile can be seen through anyway if your feeling the opposite so its pretty pointless. The rest of the advice is ok though.
The questionable part is obviously the fake smile, as each of the other 3 components are clearly good.
If smiling makes others feel better, which then results in bypassing all the terrible advice people love to sling at each other, which then results in saving you from having to deal with that, and answering all the questions that people ask, while not prepared for the answers they don’t want, and aren’t ready to receive… then i guess you could say it’s “good.”
Then again, why pretend to be happy with something that displeases you? That false-positive only contributes to the perpetuation of the problem.
“Silence is complicity”
My advice would be something along the lines of: “develop yourself so that you don’t need advice.” Asking other people what to do, isn’t always the best way to know what’s right for You. Only You can know that… and only you can figure that out for yourself.
So yeah. If it’s beneficial to “fake smile,” then go for it. But don’t fake a smile just because someone said you should.
Yeah, I knew someone who would fake a smile all day, she wasnt a very truthful person, infact she was a massive liar! But, her fake smile gave her the appearance of being a very nice person, which I found out at the end she really wasnt. her ‘fake smiles’ won her LOADS of friends and to this day still does so theres different ways of looking at it and different reasons to be faking a smile.
I think the best advice is to work towards being comfortable with who you are and how you are so everything becomes natural. It isnt easy but life becomes a bit of a strain if you’re having to pretend all the time. Thats what I’d say anyway! 🙂
I had a similar experience with a fake-smiling liar. I guess it takes a liar to teach the meaning of “truth.”
“There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes…”
She used to get so pissed when i could see “into” her… swearing up and down that i was “wrong” about this or that…
But in the end she only proved that i was always right, about everything. She found a way to blame me for that too. ^^
I think fake smiles only win fake friends. Real friendship can only be based in trust, which can only come from truth. Being real with people is ideal, but i would be remiss to discount the value of the art of deception.
“A friend is just a known enemy”
Sometimes… the only advantage people have is an effective illusion.
yeah very true man, being ‘real’ all the time has its disadvantages, mainly because being real isnt always what people really want to see, but like ya say if you put on an act and win friends like that they wont be your real friends anyway.
Also that ‘move on’ advice could actually work against you. People are effected by and ‘move on’ from things differently. Sometimes you might find something a bit difficult to just move on from and you want to allow for that, otherwise you could find yourself hating yourself for not being able to. Self acceptance is key, so you dont want to take that piece of advice too literally.
I perceived the “move on” part as a tentative recommendation, like “move on, as possible.” Motion is better than stagnation, and forward is better than backward or stop. Telling someone to move on, *as advice,* seems fine. It’s when you’re ordering someone to “move on” as a command, that’s not fine… especially if they are, for whatever reason, unable to do so.
Most people don’t seem to understand that there can be an inability to move on from a traumatic experience. Sometimes the reminders and triggers are just too numerous and inescapable, and so whatever it was stays with you, no matter what you might try.
I see it as a sort of “don’t let it stop you.”
But, overall, i see this particular phrase as a well-intentioned “witticism.” Seems to be designed to save time and simplify… and it leaves me with mixed feelings. It’s almost like they’re trying Not to say: “i don’t really want to deal with this, but here’s a phrase that sounds like it should help, even though it’s probably not all that helpful…”
yeah traumatic experiences, relationships etc etc is what I was mostly talking about and just highlighting that that advice should only ever be taken as a light general guide at the most.
There are some strong headed people out there who move on from everything just like the gushing wind and sometimes its really just a lack of care which allows them too. Other people are more sensitive souls and things get to them more so trying to go against thier own nature wouldnt really be that helpful.
But yeah, as you say, its really just a lazy and quick ‘here ya go’ without really that much thought behind it.
“The lonliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see others suffer the way they do.”
12 comments
Yes and no. The “head up stay strong” is good because you’re telling them to stay strong. Move on is ok too because you need to learn to cope. But the “fake a smile ” part isn’t as good. It’s telling people to hide how they really feel and mask their emotions, and sometimes the best thing is to tell someone or let it out somehow.
This is advice i recently got and i just wanted to know if it was good or not. And i like your comment atleast you were actually nice thank you have a great day!
Sometimes when I go nightclubbing my social anxiety kicks in and I feel like I need to ‘fake a smile’ .. usually a fake smile can be seen through anyway if your feeling the opposite so its pretty pointless. The rest of the advice is ok though.
Honestly, it depends.
The questionable part is obviously the fake smile, as each of the other 3 components are clearly good.
If smiling makes others feel better, which then results in bypassing all the terrible advice people love to sling at each other, which then results in saving you from having to deal with that, and answering all the questions that people ask, while not prepared for the answers they don’t want, and aren’t ready to receive… then i guess you could say it’s “good.”
Then again, why pretend to be happy with something that displeases you? That false-positive only contributes to the perpetuation of the problem.
“Silence is complicity”
My advice would be something along the lines of: “develop yourself so that you don’t need advice.” Asking other people what to do, isn’t always the best way to know what’s right for You. Only You can know that… and only you can figure that out for yourself.
So yeah. If it’s beneficial to “fake smile,” then go for it. But don’t fake a smile just because someone said you should.
Yeah, I knew someone who would fake a smile all day, she wasnt a very truthful person, infact she was a massive liar! But, her fake smile gave her the appearance of being a very nice person, which I found out at the end she really wasnt. her ‘fake smiles’ won her LOADS of friends and to this day still does so theres different ways of looking at it and different reasons to be faking a smile.
I think the best advice is to work towards being comfortable with who you are and how you are so everything becomes natural. It isnt easy but life becomes a bit of a strain if you’re having to pretend all the time. Thats what I’d say anyway! 🙂
@Painman-
I had a similar experience with a fake-smiling liar. I guess it takes a liar to teach the meaning of “truth.”
“There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes…”
She used to get so pissed when i could see “into” her… swearing up and down that i was “wrong” about this or that…
But in the end she only proved that i was always right, about everything. She found a way to blame me for that too. ^^
I think fake smiles only win fake friends. Real friendship can only be based in trust, which can only come from truth. Being real with people is ideal, but i would be remiss to discount the value of the art of deception.
“A friend is just a known enemy”
Sometimes… the only advantage people have is an effective illusion.
yeah very true man, being ‘real’ all the time has its disadvantages, mainly because being real isnt always what people really want to see, but like ya say if you put on an act and win friends like that they wont be your real friends anyway.
Also that ‘move on’ advice could actually work against you. People are effected by and ‘move on’ from things differently. Sometimes you might find something a bit difficult to just move on from and you want to allow for that, otherwise you could find yourself hating yourself for not being able to. Self acceptance is key, so you dont want to take that piece of advice too literally.
Hope things get better for you!
I perceived the “move on” part as a tentative recommendation, like “move on, as possible.” Motion is better than stagnation, and forward is better than backward or stop. Telling someone to move on, *as advice,* seems fine. It’s when you’re ordering someone to “move on” as a command, that’s not fine… especially if they are, for whatever reason, unable to do so.
Most people don’t seem to understand that there can be an inability to move on from a traumatic experience. Sometimes the reminders and triggers are just too numerous and inescapable, and so whatever it was stays with you, no matter what you might try.
I see it as a sort of “don’t let it stop you.”
But, overall, i see this particular phrase as a well-intentioned “witticism.” Seems to be designed to save time and simplify… and it leaves me with mixed feelings. It’s almost like they’re trying Not to say: “i don’t really want to deal with this, but here’s a phrase that sounds like it should help, even though it’s probably not all that helpful…”
yeah traumatic experiences, relationships etc etc is what I was mostly talking about and just highlighting that that advice should only ever be taken as a light general guide at the most.
There are some strong headed people out there who move on from everything just like the gushing wind and sometimes its really just a lack of care which allows them too. Other people are more sensitive souls and things get to them more so trying to go against thier own nature wouldnt really be that helpful.
But yeah, as you say, its really just a lazy and quick ‘here ya go’ without really that much thought behind it.
“The lonliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see others suffer the way they do.”
I put a fake one on to hide and I hate it but love it cause no one really notices