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Reached My Boiling Point

by MiBoilingPoint

I’ve been fucking on and off depressed for fucking 3 fucking years maybe now. Fuck I know im fucking swearing a fucking lot. The fucking bull fucking shit thing is I hadn’t sworn for fucking 8 months until now im fucking exploding. I fucking hit my boiling fucking point. Fuck life. Only fucking thing I care about is my Dog. Fuck people. Fuck everyone. Fuck peoples fucking fucking shitty fucking bullfucking shit fuck opinions. Why can fucking fuckers just shut the fuck up and keep there fucking mouth shut. Fucking FUCK.

I’m going to try to refrain my swearing from now on although it’s still completely in my system. Im typing from the heart here im not even pausing and thinking of what to write, who cares. Ive been through a lot in my life and fuck, my problems I always go out of way my way to fix them. They say go the extra mile, I went 30 extra fucking miles, they say give it 110%, I gave it fucking 2000%. I fucking changed my whole life around to try to fix these problems, and at times, the problems were gone. But fuck, after 1.5 years of working on these problems, I had them fucking GONE. Suddenly, now they’re fucking back. Fuck, do you really get what you put in? I always thought this shit, mayeb its’ true, maybe its fucking not. They say what you go through makes you a stronger person, fuck it, I just want to be happy. Fuck I gotta do shoot some meth up my fucking veins? I cant deal with reality anymore. FUCK.

I thought my life was on the right track fuck. I believe in Karma. For the past 2 years all ive been madly focusing on becoming a great, kind, person to people in general. Fuck I dn’t judge no one, I love fucking nature, I’m very spiritual… and fuck I didn’t fuckign swear durnig this time lapse obviously until fucking now. So why is this fucking happening to me? I know the world doesn’t revolve around my ass, the world doesn’t fucking care about me, I get that. But fuck I always thought you get what you put in. But all I see is fucking dicks and fucking douche bags the happiest people alive, fuckin shit. Fucking judgemental mother fuckers. Fuck them all mother fuckers. FUCK YALL EAT A FAT DICK WITH THE FUCKING MONSTER YOU FUCKINGS PRICKS.

I know im basically just ranting on, maybe this will help get some bullshit out of my system. Maybe slighlty. But I dont fucking think I can ever be happy again just because of all this FUCK. I see there is a rant category on the side and I fucking thank the makers of this site because most sites dont accept rants. But FUCK sometimes we need to FUCKING RANT AND FUCKKKK ALL.

I can honestly say that if I went missing no one woudl give a fuck for more thn a week. You know if that random kid at your school goes missing, never shows up, people seem to “care” for about a week? Then after that, it’s who fucking cares to these people? Fucking shit.

Ive had sucididal thoughts in the past but fuck right now I’d rather just iso-fucking-late myself from people. I cant fucking take them no more. Cant fucking be around them. I know im human my self and fuck I hate being alive too a lot of the times.

But FUCK I know how it FEELS to be FUCKING HAPPY. AND I FUCKING SAID THIS 1 YEAR AGO WHEN I WAS FUCKING DYING INSIDE TOO. AND I GOT KIND OF HAPPY, BUT FUCK EVERYTHING JUST VANISHED… AND ILL IVE BEEN DOING IS FUCKING BEING A GOOD PERSON ALTHOUGHT I GURANTEE I SOND LIKE A FUCKNIG PRICK ON HERE. I FUCKING GET THAT. But this isnt who I fucking am. I am not some fucking pirck ass curses ***** fucking judger. Fucking not fucking me FUCK.

Just want to fucking run away, come back in 3 months, see how things are. But I dont fucking know what to do. I was doing fucking amazing in school at the begging of the semester, now IM slippping complteley. And who fucking cares? Not me. Fuck I want to drop out of high school, fuck it. Fuck it, Fuck it, FUCK IT. All those FUCKERS kill me inisde, some douche fuckers, and even some fucking teacher assistants. Fucking FUCK. FUCKKKK.

Maybe Ill be better tomoorw, but I doubt that. For the past 4 days, too much SHIT has happened to me. But today, oh today… this is where this came from. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCKKKKKKKKK FUCKKK. WHY CANT I JUST BE HAPPY FUCKKK!!!

I JUST WANT TO LOVE MY FUCKING SELF! WHY CANT I DO THAT. I DONT CARE ABOUT FUCKING FRIENDS, ALL MY GOOD FREINDS FUCKING LEFT ME FOR SOME BULLSHIT. WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT FRIENDS NOW. FUCK. IM FUCKING DONE FOR NOW> FUCK.

ps; sorry for so much swearing this came from my heart i was typing non stop.

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3 comments

Fancy 5/10/2013 - 7:42 pm

Sorry you’re feeling so horrible. And no need to apologize for something like swearing, sometimes you kinda have to. It’s not like it hurts anyone.

One of the most hurtful lessons I’ve slowly learned, is that being nice and trying to share your good side with the world really means nothing to most other people. You don’t necessarily get anything back but shit thrown at you, even if you went that extra mile or you’re already down. Assholes succeed in life easily because they take advantage of others and don’t have to lose sleep over it.

Soroxen 5/10/2013 - 8:41 pm

I really wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know that nothing I say can help you in any way shape or form πŸ™ All I can do is try to calm you and be as supportive as I can.

If there’s anything I’ve learned through my experiences, is that you can’t please everyone. You just can’t. There will be people that hate you and will try to bring you down for no reason. Although I don’t know your situation, or anything that happened, I’m positive that things will turn around for you. Maybe you just need a change of pace or something?

Instead of trying to live for others, live for yourself and you will find true happiness! πŸ™‚ I really do hope that you’re alright and I’m always here to talk if you need someone <3 And no, I'm not a pedophile haha, I'm a 17 year old girl xD

butterfly_free 5/10/2013 - 9:59 pm

I’m fucking angry too boilingpt. I am fucking tired too. And im sorry for you. it is such shit. such crap. ive dont the same , tried beyond even what i ever thought i could do, and its all falling apart for me too. and it seems every little thing i do is the wrong choice. Im sorry, this is not much or any help to you at all really, but i feel so in touch with your post, the most ive felt something makes sense at all today is reading your post.

im at a loss of what to do with or about people myself. i seem to make people angry or frustrated and apparently im being selfish. as if this is pleasant for me. yeah, thanks , ill have feelings from hell for a year, thanks very much. you are so right – in my feelings, – about everything here. everything you write reflects just how i am feeling.

and i just dont have advice, just that i feel the same fucking way.

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