Same equation different variables

You wants to die. There’s no profound reason really. Doubt there is a standard set as to how one should live their adolescent life so it’s rather difficult to say whether or not you had an appropriate childhood. Your just tired. You can’t think straight, Your memory is shot and You can’t say you’ve ever truely loved another. Your mind is a constant cycle of nonsense and paradoxes, You don’t even know the truth anymore. All you know is if this is life you want little if nothing at all to do with it. It’s all a joke. A cruel prank played by fate. Your born regardless of your choosing to play a game with rules you don’t know all of. What does it matter you don’t agree with most of them. You want to be loved but only to spurn the ones that love you. You want there hatred but only to fuel your own. What’s wrong with you.. Why can’t you die? Why won’t you let that fucking noose snuff the flame from your pathetic corpse. Is there really more? Can there be? Can you even let yourself enjoy it? Why not let go what’s holding you back? After all its just a game