almost every day now, i think about suicide. when i shower, i black out, grab something sharp and just start cutting. i don’t really know why i’m doing it other than my list of disorders. i haven’t cut since 7th grade. i’m in high school now and i started again about a week ago. whether i’m depressed or not when it happens, i do it anyways. everyone except my family can see, i don’t care.. but i just like looking at them. not because i think they look cool or make me cool, it just makes me feel better to know that i tried fighting back. it shows me how strong i am. and once they go away this time, i’ll see how long i can take life before i blow up again. my little sister just started again too.. i need to be a good role model. i want to, it’s just.. hard..
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It really is hard, but at least yo;u have vthe chance to see the harshness of the cruel world, the blackholes that swarm over the earth and its creatures, you’ve seen the darkest deepest feelings of the world, and you can use that as a contrast to what the world also holds, you can be the best role model ever, because you have fallen so low, and you will slowly learn to climb back up, and I think that will be the greatest accomplishment ever. you can do it, I believe in you,,, if you want someone to listen to you im at morenomari1@yahoo.com