Why I am still alive – more than a rhetorical question

Am I just too coward to embrace the death… Am I still too much attached to people around me and care for their for feelings towards me … Or Is there still some materialistic/physical comfort that really excites me and is unconsciously asking me to hold on to it … or there is really a purpose that divinity had decided for us and we can’t go before fulfilling it …
I feel that the the answer is none of those…
Instead the only reason that I think that I am still alive now is sheer curiosity ….. there’s defn some thing really exciting after death . an encounter with God! reincarnation .. heaven or hell … or whatever that eternal truth might be .. One thing is for sure what ever that lies beyond death will continue to be there irrespective of timing of my death … if i die today or I die 50 years later … whatever lies there will continue to wait for me in same manner…. BUT this temporary world we are living in .. that’s constantly changing … though sometimes it appears to be boring .. the routine pleasure from any source like health , family ,love , sex , food, drinks , travel , adventures , books , movies , music , fame , wealth , even pain or anything else has one good common factor in it … and that is – that it wont last forever … it will have a begining and it will end for sure very soon ….
Now in a limited timespan what should I follow – those temprarory pleasures or keep seeking for that permanent unkonwn .. . or make a quick plunge by dying in the heat of moment and embrace that permanent eternal truth , whatever it might be …
Religion , in general , says that the life should be spend in seeking for that eternal truth aka God , through pious means like a noble and controlld life style , prayers etc…. It usually condems ending life by self …no matter how much satsified or hollow .. happy or painful we feel..
But shouldnt the later be easier path.. if we want to unite with God , just get rid of this life and embrace Him …
While the religious text or those learned saints y dont give the answer in simple text for cynics like me .. but i feel the only reason I should stay alive is for the curious thrill that life offers … Once that I’ve realized the ephemeral nature of life including all of our emotions , achievemnets , failures , joy , pain , relations or anything under the sun … these tempraroy sparks seems to be more exciting than the permanent ( therefore boring) truth that will follow after I die …and that will come eventually anyways .. so why to hurry the unavoidable …
I wanted to write more.. but I am feeling bored .. may be some other time …

~Abhi