Mindless pointless contemplation has brought me to the sudden realization that existence alone is meaningless. It lacks purpose. To merely exist gives you no meaning, no purpose, no rights. All is for nothing. And just to clarify I’m not saying life in itself is meaningless or purposeless. As being humans the believed higher evolved species we our self give our life meaning and purpose. To merely be born doesn’t give us that. All we have achieved at that point is the chance to live. As I have heard: being alive does not mean you have lived. And I believe that is true, to go about the same mundane activities day after day not gaining any enjoyment means you are alive. But not living.
As a better explanation there was a day when someone asked me what my thoughts were on creation. And I, as all of us have no true understanding of creation, we merely speculate and guess so my honest to god belief is that there was no creation. Everything with In its self has always and will forever be there. As a human we can not fathom that because essentially we have a beginning and an end. Everything we see or think has a mortal complex to it. We see the start and finish and imagine everything else has them. So essentially Instead of enjoying life we are in a panic, because no one really wants to die. They just want the power to change. And when they can’t find it, death is a surreal option.as humans we are a greedy species. we are not satisfied with what we have infront of us, we want more. we seek and seek and seek to comprehend things that are really unfathomable. how old is the earth? how long have people been here? were we cavemen and derived from apes?
i really fail to see how that is important in the long run, but that may be just me. science doesn’t have to give us a reason to live, or a purpose to.
we search the galaxies for life forms because we cannot suffer alone and we hope something out there has the answers, and for all we know there are no answers.
we fail to understand why we age, and yet we want to stop the aging, create ourselves immortals. but i dont see where that is possible or the good in it. because you see we are greedy.
i wake up and see the sun still shines. the grass is green, the wind does blow. and that is good enough for me.as i have mentioned in previous posts writing is my purpose. art is my purpose. people are my purpose. i have so many reasons, meanings and purpose in life, and i am the one who gave them purpose, and they gave me purpose. existing doesn’t do that, it only contributes to that. to think i am alive, why doesn’t everything work for me? fuck you world, fuck you god!
that is the saddest thing in the world to me.
in the beginning we are all we have, and at the end it tends to be the same, if you don’t like who you are, the life you have or the choices you make.
if you are not in the position to change it build yourself up and wait for the time when you can.
its simple, doing and writing its simple. i know its not accurate to say i did it so can you, but ill say it anyway. i have done it on three accounts and it was the hardest scariest things i have done, but it turned out good in the end.
i know we didn’t ask to be born or run into the issues and heart breaks that we have.but really in all honest its nobodies fault, its not the worlds fault, its not gods fault, its not your fault.
i know that my mother beat me everyday, my step dad made my life hell, my dad hates me and tormented me, my step mother strongly diss-pissed me and shit on me every step of the way. all the children at school were cruel and insistent as time went on.
but i don’t blame them. i could have handle things differently and i could have chosen not to let it tear me down. they could have been better people, but i didn’t and they weren’t. i know i used to hate god, and life and myself, but then i realized, everyone has a bad past, a bad story a traumatic event. and each person chooses there own way of handling it and how it effects them.
we all have choices, we all have beliefs we all have knowledge.
choose to find something good in each day to look forward to. take the climb up one at a time, practice not getting down, and soon u wont even have to think on it to hard. u will find that life will get better.
believe in yourself more than anything. because nothing is stupid. the people who don’t understand are stupid. if you love it love it. if you want it you want it. its YOUR life, no one wakes up as you, no one has to be you, no one has to live as you except you.
knowledge is the strongest thing in the world. that’s all i really have to say. a lot of the times knowing is seriously half the battle.Â i personally believe no one can beat you down if you have knowledge on your side, if some one wants to call you stupid or insult you, cut them down to size with effective words alone. baffle them, make them look stupid or there insults ineffective, in time people will leave you alone and even respect you.
if anyone is interested i will be writing on the topic loneliness next,