It’s just before 12pm. Â I have only just woken up and I wake up today looking at life like it’s a curse. Â What is the point of living life? Â (Not in a suicidal state of mine). Â I lay here thinking to myself how hard it is to get out of bed to get to the shower or to get downstairs to eat breakfast. Â So I just lay here for longer. Â It is now 1pm. Â I have decided to get up and start going on with my day to day jobs. Â I was meant to go out today but I don’t want to leave the house. Â I am scared. Â I am frightened of the world out there. Â I am afraid of the world behind my closed doors. Â This is my sanctuary. Â In which I am still trapped with the demon that lives inside of me. Â Behind my nightmares, endless nights of tears falling, my everyday of pain and the mask I wear; there is a little girl wanting to come out. Â The little girl that was buried into the pits of anguish five years ago. Â Her innocence destroyed, her happiness vanished and her heart fell to pieces. Â Nearly six months ago I met someone. Â We fell in love. Â I was happier than I had ever been in my whole life. Â He is the most important person in my life. Â I don’t want to disappoint him but the person he fell in love with is slowly diminishing. Â I need help before it’s too late. Â They are coming back to get me. Â I see them in my sleep. Â I see them when I wake up. Â I see them when I lay awake at night. Â The darkness holds me close. Â Too close. Â The past few weeks has been the start of them coming back stronger. Â I am growing weak. Â I don’t know what to do anymore. Â I am scared that if I don’t do something it will be too late. Â They bully me, they torment me, they make me feel weak when I’m at my worst. Â My love of my life, you’re my only hope. Â I want to hold your hand. Â I want to escape this nightmare. Â Please take me in your arms and tell me it will be okay. Â I don’t know how long I can keep this barrier up for on my own. Â Every time I try to tell you exactly what I’m feeling, I get the feeling that you think I’m just making up excuses. Â That is the last thing I want to do. Â I want that little girl to come out into the light.