Boy Crazy

I have never cared about boys much, but there’s just this one that I can’t get out of my head. I hate him so much that I love him. It makes me sick. He’s horrible for me, he doesn’t give a shit about me I mean nothing to him, yet he means everything to me. I don’t know how this happened. I stayed my distance, I moved on was engaged. And then Mr.Wrong showed back up in my life and I quickly became a mess again. I hate this evil spell he has me under. I beat myself up inside because I don’t understand why I’m not good enough for him to care for me back. I try to do everything he wants me to, I’m always there for him when he needs me. I’m still here, even after all the other girls. I sit there and am always waiting for him to come back after he’s done with one girl, I mean he always comes back but when another girl comes calling he’ll go running leaving me holding on to nothing. It’s hard, I wish he’d realize that I’m the one for him. It starts to make me wonder if something wrong with me, and that does nothing but kill me inside. I just wish I never met him. I was fine before him. Never been in love before, I’ve never gave a shit about a guy before. And now look at me writing a stupid blog about him because I don’t know how to act. I just wanna sleep through all the pain I’m feeling right now. I just wish I was good enough and wanted, that’s all.