Hi people, been like this for as long as i can remember, most of my problems are from me being lazy, i mean apparently a doctor says iâ€™ve got depression too but truthfully i just think its my own stupid fault. Iâ€™m a big, lazy fat, 20 year old who spends his days indoors doing nothing, I see you great, amazing people and i wonder am i allowed to complain, you people are having to live through the real problems and i donâ€™t feel like i should be allowed to complain. Iâ€™ve wanted to kill my self for such a long time now, though Iâ€™m too cowardly to do it though, plus for me (not that Iâ€™m judging anyone) but for me i couldnâ€™t do it to the people that love me (i know i have an ego) because they say it would hurt.
I dunno what the answer is, i try to think off life in as positive way as possible and it just keeps on coming up with shadows. i did have a life once, then i threw it all away, now Iâ€™m too lazy to get it back, if i never existed that would be the perfect option, then no-one gets hurt. i used to be a decent drummer, i threw it away the one true calling i had in life. my uncle very thankfully has offered to pay to get me some help but the thing is i donâ€™t want any money or material goods, i just wanna be a good person and help people, is that too much to ask?
so as you can see thereâ€™s no real problem, so should i even be allowed to do this?
thank you for reading 🙂