I’m so positive, always smiling, laughing, telling people what they want to hear, trying to make them happy but sometimes when I’m alone, I just can’t control myself. I fight myself, knowing I will loose. I just, I don’t know, I don’t know how to explain. People out there, having fun, couples, or friend groups, going out everyday, their parents let them go out. But they are always wanting for more, i don’t understand. Is it fair? I love living and life but sometimes it’s seems so dark I can’t even find the light switch. Â Ofcourse I feel so blessed for all of these, so thankful to God that I can’t even explain. But sometimes people are being so stupid and I can’t understand why they still complain? You have friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, pretty face, beautiful body. It’s just so weird people being so shit.
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The fact that you love life and it seems that you have no intentions to commit suicide is very good. Unlike some of us including me, we just want to end it. Take it from me, people are stupid, sometimes you gotta put up with them and not take things too personal. It’s all about people taking things for granted and not realizing until its long gone and they’re empty. Believe me, I use to have that and took it for granted until one day, I woke up and found out that I was lonely and chasing dreams out of my head. I didn’t think I would be deeply depressed, going to counceling, thinking about death, trying my grief on a website like this. I could make a Change and maybe I will see light at the end of this abyss, but honestly, I don’t think I want too. I choose to give up than to try anymore. Don’t be like me, one of those stupid people your talking about.