So it’s officially the 12th, which still leaves me four more long days (sigh) but I’m rather excited the end is coming, slowly but surely. It’s a fitting end tho, or at least in my case the old saying stands true (live by the gun you’ll die by the gun) an I’m fine with that. As my hours count down I swear I can hear death calling my name, but y’all probably wouldn’t understand. It sounds so sweet, I get to shed all my struggles an sin I’ve been living in
Death = freedom
And that brings a true smile to my face
21 comments
Death=Hurting those that care,
Please don’t let go keep on fighting
Those that “care” are few and far between and there’s nothing left worth fighting for
they may be far and few but maybe among them there is a diamond in the rough. And you are worth fighting for your future think of those you could help by defeating the dark thoughts of suicide you would be strong by defeating it please please don’t take your life.
I don’t know you, but I care about you. Please don’t hurt yourself. I am here if you need someone to talk to.
No, I don’t need anyone to talk to an I’ve already made up my mind and have everything all planed out. Nobody can talk me outta this so there ain’t no point in trying.
Sucks that you’ve decided to go through with this, but I hope you get a clean shot and don’t end up alive and mangled.
I’m 90% sure it will be a clean kill an I’m doing it at night so I’ll definitely bleed out before anyone finds me.
:c i still say travelling gun thing….even better that it has no serial number ;o; i gotta ask what caliber? o-o frontal lobe shot? Or shot from the side on the left or right lobe? Or through the eye? Or through the mouth? Lots of variety and tes I’m quite the sick fuck for encouraging by asking this but….I never claimed to be a good person lol
.357mag 130grain fmj in the mouth at an slightly upward angle
Such a harsh topic… and you’re probably right, we probably can’t convince you to “change your mind.”
But i’ve thought about blowing my brains out many times. It seems the most “instant” and effective, sure-thing option. There’s no waiting, no traveling, no “everything has to be just right.” Point and click. As “point-and-click” as it gets, i think.
But i’ve always wondered… brain stem, or higher? If i aim for the stem, sure, i’ll render my “life support” functions inoperable, and certainly die. But how painful, or more importantly, how “conscious” would i be, of the passing moments of sheer agony? And if i aim for the spot that results in immediate ending of consciousness, what if my body manages to survive (assuming i’m found before i bleed out), without a head, or with a horribly mangled head, in a vegetative state?
So yeah. I guess i’d opt for the stem, to make sure that it’s impossible for my body’s survival functions to continue… even if those last few moments are conscious agonizing terror. I’d imagine it must be similar to decapitation. I’ve had several dreams in which i was decapitated, and my mind somehow reasoned the idea of a sort of split-consciousness, as a result. Like if your body is somehow conscious of your head being removed, while your head is obviously aware that its body is no longer attached. Obviously this “split-consciousness” state wouldn’t last more than a few moments, but still. Crazy, creepy, eerie feeling, imagining how that might be.
I’d also imagine that if you aim for the stem, in addition to all the excruciating pain, it will probably trigger the sensation of suffocation, while also feeling like a “blood choke.” Lots of pressure, a sensation of paralysis (because the body is no longer attached via the CNS). It’s probably an overwhelmingly severe amount of pain… which could make that short moment seem much longer. You’ll have the urge to scream, but won’t be able to take a breath with which to do so. There’s a lot going on in that “moment.”
Everyone faces death. Some do so willingly. Some might be appalled at the idea of doing anything other than pleading with you, trying to use one of various tactics in hopes you’ll change your mind.
I know better than to think it has anything to do with whether anyone cares. I’m pretty sure you know some people do care, even if it’s not enough… and it probably isn’t. “Just caring” usually isn’t enough. We see that lesson iterated throughout life. It’s not about anyone else. It’s about being unable to find a better option, and unable to make “what is” worth enduring.
People will care. Some of us will be sad. But we, of all people, understand that better than anyone else will.
So i hope it really is like just flipping a switch… or at least that the last moment isn’t too horrible, as i realistically think it will be… like all the suffering you might have endured, had you stuck it out for the duration, occurring all at once, and then being over.
If anything, take some time to be peaceful, before then.
I see o: it should be enter the brain cavity quite easily from there. Ive always considered the eye sockets and mouth to be the only good entry ways ino the brain reducing the force that is normally require to puncture the skull. Clean death? Most likely. Well clean as in will it be a quick death. Will make a mess though as it exits and splatters o-o i think you have 95% success rate unless the gun missfires or jams. Is it cleaned? Oiled? Clean ammo?
I’m pretty sure the shock wave will be violent enough to sever the brain stem regardless if its a direct hit especially since most of it will be contained in the skull, and in a sick kind of way I hope it will be extremely painful but just for a fraction of a second. I should have a softball size exit wound in the back of my head with very little left in there
Of course, I know this gun intimately, how much it weighs empty vs fully loaded how much pressure it takes for the hammer to draw back and everything. I clean it compulsively an talk to it daily and revolvers don’t jam and hardly ever misfire
I’ve personally met someone who survived a through and through gunshot to the head (not self-inflicted). The brain doesn’t necessarily die when it is damaged. Let’s just say he was ‘severely disabled,’ but was actually still mostly coherent. He was pretty messed up, and needed help to do things, but could still think and speak and move around… partially paralyzed and ‘not all there,’ but capable of making a remarkably high recovery.
So, just because a bullet passes through the brain cavity, that isn’t necessarily certain death. It usually is, i think, but “there’s a chance.” However, without the medulla oblongata, it is physically impossible to survive (unless they hook up machines to everything… heart, lungs, and every other vital function system).
My best friend from high school (and for several years after) took a severe blunt force trauma to the temple (about 10 years ago), cracked skull, shattered cheek/eye/brow area, and spent many years recovering from his brain injury. Still has memory and equilibrium problems, but is otherwise “normal.”
But, IIRC, the .357 is known for “stopping power” and exit wounds, so… probably very low chance of failure. :/
Haha for some odd reason i thought you had a .357 gun that wasnt a revolver but now i realize that wouldnt be sold by a guy downtown XD clever name is right. There have been many cases of head shot survivors. I do think that a .357 magnum will be able to damage the brain enough to kill you. But who knows. Not many head shot survivors, it can happen but i consider it to be rare.
@clever- I’m fairly certain I will be gone by the time my body hits the ground, an if not I’m going to try my best to put in another round. I’m also going to tape the gun to my hand so it won’t fall into to lake afterwards.
I think I got it purdy well planed out, would you agree?
So… what is the relevance of preventing it from falling into the lake? Why does that matter?
Oh, like, in case the 1st shot isn’t enough, to make sure you don’t end up shot, stranded, unarmed, and not dying?
You can fight this death is not the right answer to end the pain please I know that you feel like there is no way out I tried to commit suicide and it did nothing for me you need to fight through the pain try talking to a counselor or a help line talking to someone may help the pain please don’t give up.
Hugs to you
@Clever- Yup pretty much, and just to keep the gun with the body.
An I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier about ending up like a vegetable, and seeing how a fmj doesn’t really shroom out I went to the store today an purchased some 158 grain Hydra shockers, there like hollow points but with a rubber tip preventing it from becoming clogged an acting like a fmj. So these should ensure maximum damage increasing my chances of a clean kill, an they better at 1$ a bullet
sorry, but it’ll be a messy kill. If you mean clean by killing you for certain, maybe. But it won’t be a clean kill in any other sense of the word. Plus if you change your mind you won’t be able to come back. If caught yoou’ll end up in hospital, shameful if the doctors know what you want to do. Even worse is to ask a doctor to shoot you, I’ve done that and all that does is cause suspicion for the doctor and he won’t let you go till you can think straight, whether that be for a few minutes, hours or days. If not caught, you won’t be able to come back and tell people whether you like your death or not, see what people have to put up with when they find you. It won’t be your problem since you’ll be dead. What I’m saying is, what your problem will be is not being able to reverse the suicide if you don’t like it. Death is death, at least if you accidentally die that’s the only regret you’ll have. If you try to kill yoourself for any other reason other than for terminal conditions, you’ll possibly regret killing yourself and miss out on whatever goodness you’ll ever have in your future while you were alive. If you don’t regret it you’re lucky!
That’s the only way people use the term (clean kill) where I’m from, ie meaning one shot one kill with minimum suffering to the target. An why would I ask a doctor to shoot me? Unless he/she was a more perficient shot than me which is highly doubtful. And who as come back from death an told anyone if they liked it or not?? An if they did wouldn’t they simply off themselves again if they did like it? And yes I’m well aware that a brain can’t be put back into a skull after it’s been blown out which is the main reason I have choose this method.
I am doing this and I won’t have any regrets