I got better… now im back

for the past months ive felt so muhc better but now i feel so low again, i’ve told the two girls i love with all my heart everything that i did in my past… all the thigns i believe and i’m sooo scared of what they might think i want to do i dont want to hear what they think ebcause i admited to not being hounest to either of them and if they hate me my life is over… i dont know what to do…. i wanna die…