I Was Saved..For Now

This is my story, I would kindly like to ask you to not put rude comments. When I was a child I was mostly forgotten about. My sister had all the attention. My parents were both alcoholics, that forced my sister and I to be our own parents. I was probably about 1-3 I couldn’t take care of myself so my sister had to. My mom was a horrible drinker. She decided to pick us up from school one day drunk. As we drove back home my sister, she looked at me. Her face full of fear and turned around that’s when we heard the sirens. She got pulled over right after almost crashing into the side of a hill, which would have made our car explode. When the cops came up to the window she wouldn’t get out. My sister and I were both screaming at her to get out. Finally she got out after taking her last sip of alcohol she ever would drink. She was in rehab for 12 week. When she got out, she forgot about me even more. I was officially on my own. My sister wasn’t taking care of me anymore, she was all about the boys. She then started to abuse me. She would hit me and scream at me every day. My mother didn’t care. That’s when I started cutting. I actually got relief from that. Once I got to middle school the bullying started. You see I have a speech impediment, or a lisp. I cannot not pronounce my “s” I also have a forming stutter. I got bullied everyday. Them in year 8 I met someone. She was the most beautiful person I ever laid eyes on. We started dating, I got bullied because in my school there weren’t many same gender relationships. But I didn’t care I loved her more than anybody could possibly imagine. But she decide to end it. I was crushed. I cut again. But once my friend found out about that, he took me to the counselor. Then I was able to control it for a while. By the time year 8 was over a had tried to commit suicide 27 times. I only needed one person to stand by me, but she had left ad once again I was alone. I had no one. I still have no one. My family hates me. It’s like I’m an outcast I’m my own home. People are supposed to feel safe at home. I didn’t. I have bee trying really hard not to end it all, but sometimes it’s just really difficult. Suicide for me is what seems like the only answer. This is what abuse and bullying leads to. So stop bullying because anybody who bullies people are risking someone’s life. I have scars and attempts to prove it. Please just stop. My pain won’t end until I end it. But I can’t end it without knowing what will happen when I do. Suicide is a daily thought for me. Maybe someone out there will understand my pain..