i started hallucinating about 4 days ago. Â i also have a voice in my head. i fight with it a lot. it tells me everything it hates about me, about how i don’t deserve to be happy no matter how much i wish i was.. and it hurts. i used to say those things to myself, and now a part of me got cut off and just lives in my head. i’ll have a good time with my friends, and it will tell me not to smile because my smile is ugly. i’ll put makeup on and it will tell me nothing can fix my face. i told my little sister this, and she thinks i’m schizophrenic. lately i have had to beg my family to take me to the therapist. i’ve been short-sleeved for about 2 weeks, and they still don’t see the 45+ cuts on my arm. Â they don’t even bother to try to see through me because they are so blinded by the fact they think i’m perfectly fine. the other day i was crying really hard on the bathroom floor, all i remember is staring into the bathtub and then having the shower curtain tied around my neck. i pulled it off, sat down and started crying again. i just want to be .. ohkay ..