I’ve made my choice

I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of thought and consideration to make this personal decision. It’s hard considering everything that happened after the first attempt, but I want to die even when I’m at peace of mind, so I’m ready to take this final commitment. No one had helped me, no one wants to help a freak anyways, there is no hope for my future, and I’m ready to alleviate the suffering. I’m ready to give myself mercy that this sick world is incapable of giving. This week I’ll probably pack up my stuff, write and proofread my final wishes, and find the bullets to the .45 handgun in the house…or just hang myself again if all else fails. I feel so liberated since choosing death. Please wish me luck…or enjoy your lives like I never could.