Looking at a Reflection in a Friend’s Teary Gaze.

The Universe told me not to go to the park that day.
As I pulled into your driveway, my phone buzzed.
You were calling me. Why?
“Scide is going to kill me. Scide is going to kill me.”
Your voice is gurgled and muffled by your tears.
I burst in and your ‘girlfriend’ isn’t there.
You’ve locked yourself in your room.
Open the door. She knows about everything and it’s all my fault and now she’s gone. Open the door, Scide. I deserve to be punished. Open the fucking door. Go away. If you hurt yourself, I’ll go away, too.
You become silent, this entity within my Friend’s mind. Are the people in your head real? Or is this your way of coping with the pain.
Who am I to say you’re lying when I was in the same situation not but 4 years ago.
You open the door and I see a few splotches of blood.
Suddenly it was me standing within the mess that is your room, giving my mom the suicide note I had written when I almost took my life in the girl’s bathroom at school 5 years ago.
I cried. I cried so hard for you. It wasn’t fair. I can hurt myself but not you. No one is to be punished.
I embrace you.
I embrace myself.
I hold you tightly.
I hold myself tightly.
Let’s go clean your arm.
They aren’t deep.
You didn’t try to kill yourself. That was Scide’s fault.
I know you didn’t try to kill yourself. I could tell.
You’re a coward.
To give all of it up for some narcissistic ***** who can’t even tell you she loves you back.
I hate you.
But I love you.
My best friend.
Myself from the past.
So naive.