They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person saying he can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then he left. He never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s not what upsets me. What upsets me is that he said he’d make things better and always be there for me, yet where the hell is he? Then the first guy brings up bad memories of everyone saying they cared and leaving me. And I tell him that I can’t be happy and he tells me he will. I need to trust him. Yeah. What the fuck ever. God, if you’re there, kill me now. Strike me down. Bludgen me to death. KILL ME. I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. I don’t even have anymore tears. I don’t have a point. Maybe, just maybe, my point is to die. My point is to make a point to people about what the fuck of a wimp and a child I am that I’m so WEAK as to kill myself. Or maybe I have no point. And weak people break. I’m surpr- never mind, I’m only here BECAUSE I’m weak. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I HATE MYSELF. I WANT TO GET A SHARP RAZOR AND CUT MY ARM OPEN. I WANT TO HANG FROM A TREE. I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD. I WANT TO DIEEEE!!!!!